#secondsemester

안녕하세요. Why hello there, abandoned little blog. I am here to fill you again before leaving you to strand again for a few months. I never should have made promises I couldn't keep. I apologize, my little blog. I'll probably just talk about my second semester, since that's the only thing worth mentioning now that i have been inactive for a month. I knew I should have gotten a part time job. Sigh. Well, being pampered at home isn't so bad after all. I get to sleep in(not entirely true). Alright. 

Honestly. I didn't want any part of this. I wasn't about to make a fool out of myself "performing" for others. I have my senior to thank. It's through her constant invitation that I decided to give it a chance and I'm glad I did. I would have been such a fool if I had let this slip. I guess I did end up "performing" for falling a few times, growling at the opponents at times and maybe committed violence against some of them. Miss Jay was there with me although she was on the other team. Reminds me Form 6 PLCS, good times. I promise to do my best every year as long as I am still a degree student. You can count on me PPKAS. The win has led to free Pizza from two handsome seniors. I'm a lucky girl.

I also didn't want to anything to do with this one. Laughs. I went anyway because none of the non Muslim in my course were going. The girls in my course decided that we should go and represent and we did, Miss Halimatus here borrowed me her dress which I am very grateful for. The dinner party consists of a lot of singing, some dancing, some speeches you wish you'll never hear, some cgpa award presenting(which is stressful), some laughs and lots of selfie. I may have found myself a new crush. PPKAS night. 

This. I was hesitating on going too. Sweats. I went anyway and I had so much fun. I needed the break from all the Computer Programming and Ecology crap. It was my first time going out with people older than me. These seniors took really good care of me. I am blessed. I didn't have to worry about a single thing, they just got my back. It was fun going into an escape room, catching a late night movie, visiting St Anne Church. Penang is a great place. Go with me sometimes?

Laughs. I am very embarrassed to say this but, I was hesitating to go to this camp too. Good Lord. I am so glad I went anyways. I literally left Ecology and Computer Programming behind just to go the camp. It didn't disappoint at all, Mr Adrian did a great job. He brought me nearer to Christ. In fact, everyone here in this picture, they have all brought me closer to Christ and I am forever grateful for that. Big brother Jason. Judith. Joan. Melissa. Philip. Adrian. Elisha. Mr Andre Ong. Your names are engraved on this little heart of mine.

I hate Engineering Skills. But I sure love doing wiring with these two. Just thought I should mention it here how these two are the best team mates I got last semester. I hope we can work together again more in the future. It's not easy being the fast. 

The Hatyai trip. I was looking forward to going. It was my first time leaving Malaysia (well not leave leave and it wasn't that far away anyways) but it was still a first something. I went with my church mates. We had our differences and problems but we got through. That's what being mates are all about right? These people are precious to me. People who make the distance from home shorter, the days til I am home again a little shorter. Thanks for being there. Smiles.

The Family Rally in Penang. This. I was looking forward to. Well the picture above wasn't one from the rally. This is us, being goofballs while having a half day cycling trip before heading back to Perlis. We had much to eat, a nice place to sleep because Adrian's church was kind enough to even fund for us. Lucky kids we were. I am forever grateful for this opportunity. This has certainly had made its changes on me. Thank you. "He makes all things new."

This picture reminds me of how much I hated Engineering skills and how much I suck at drawing stuff. I remember being really frustrated that night, having so much work to do and thinking there was an early class the second day (which was cancelled only on the second day). Big thanks to Chua my cold jokes sister and the handsomely perverted Ee Yeong, you guys saved my life. We probably won't be able to sit like this anymore once we move into the another hostel but hopefully we will be given a chance anyway. Let's work hard again for the next few years.

Go on a picnic with people you are comfortable around. Give them funny punishments and take videos of them doing it. Wake up early to make food for them. Make them sing or write someone's name with their butt while standing in the river. Make great friends in Uni so you can tell your grandchildren about it someday. Take lots of picture, even if the NGs are too much. One day, you will look back and you will smile to yourself like an idiot. Thanks guys for the coursemates I thought I would never have. To think that we were total strangers at first. Laughs.

Having a night out after moving belongings in the big pouring rain. Going for dinner and singing late night Karaoke. Should have went for a movie instead huh? Laughs. 

Had trip to Perak - KL. It was tiring and we almost missed the bus and a ferry. Phew. It was all too close. Going from Ipoh to Lumut to Teluk Intan and of course not forgetting Pulau Pangkor. Had a one night stay at Wei Chin's place plus a luxurious dinner at his restaurant. Traveled to KL the next day and stayed a week at Swing's place before coming home. The one week was a lot of fun and a lot of first times. Pictures can speak for themselves.

Eating this right after the Hot Spring session.

Aren't you too old for this?

 Street Art in Ipoh.

 Bye bye Birdie.

#kokoniaru

Holla. Yes. It has come to the point where blogging is fun because the hostel Internet isn't giving me many choices of entertainment. I shouldn't have taken the super fast internet back home for granted. Goodbye sweet child of mine... until June. But seriously though- Fix the damn Internet.

Things done since last update:
1. C Programming & Engineering skills owning me.
2. Received a notice for hostel moving arrangements
3. Played basketball & took Korean classes.
4. PTPTN ;A;

Let's do C Programming first. Remember when I said Engineering is not for me? Well I am starting to think it's true ;A; I have never been so frustrated. You type one single mistake and you will feel like the world has come to an end. (Okay, exaggeration but really.) That was 2 weeks ago and I admit I'm starting to open up a little, at least I can count the area and perimeter of a circle using a program right? Okay. Just shut up Aud. Engineering skills WOOHOO. The main reason why I find this semester really tiring and stressful is because of Engineering Skills. I have a test every 2 weeks and if I screw up, that will be the end of me. The end. Take Engineering Skill they say. It will be fun they say. Why did I believe those people? -Cries well this is only my third week so maybe I haven't got to the fun parts yet. Great. More things to look forward to.

Hostel Moving Arrangements. I don't know what to feel. The rumors have been going around since the last semester but no one paid attention to it because they just think it's impossible and just like any other gullible freshman that I am believed them. Until they actually announced the possibility on Facebook. (Woah Facebook > People) People started freaking out, I freaked out. I mean my hostel might be really far away from everything else but this place has got to be the best one here in Perlis. Don't tell me that you're going to try and take that away from me too? Sure, I mean moving isn't too bad right? At least it's still provided by the University but people you don't understand. I don't mind the moving. I just cannot accept the moving destination. Why move people from the best place to the worst? This is the main reason why the seniors just won't budge and had a petition going around so they won't move us away. All I can say now is- It's going to be another few months until it really happens so I might as well pay it no mind and just deal with what I have to deal with now. (C Programming)

Basketball. I didn't really wanted to join at first. (Well, I never really wanna join anything) but my senior practically forced me into it and I'm glad she did *smiles Our school did all we could and like I said. No Pain No Gain. I got two scarred knees and a whole body of muscle ache but we won hooray. Our school finally got first place after so many years of being a runner up. it's not just about winning. I mean I met a lot of new people, explored some things about Uni, increased social links with people and I guess actually exercised for once? Jumping to the next topic, Korean classes. My song saeng nim is so scary. I am seriously afraid of her. I feel like she might strangle somebody just because we cannot read a random word she points out on the board. Time passes really fast when you're enjoying yourself huh? For those who know me, you probably think I'd go for Japanese instead and you are correct. Japanese was my first choice and apparently it was a few more hundred's first choice as well. I couldn't make the quota but I really had to take a language this semester and so Korean here we go. It's not too bad really. I personally think people who's want to learn Japanese should learn Korean too. Back to the main point. My teacher is scary, I cannot fail her class.

PTPTN, why haven't you send me any money? *Cries I won't be able to pay my fees this semester if you don't. I seriously have no idea what to do. I should give the Perlis branch a call soon. Okay I guess that's really all from me this time. Well at least it's not a random post about glee right? ;)

#jellybeans

One week back in Perlis and I have learned a few things. One, you never really left. Two, the Internet got worst. Three. Okay there's no three but yeah you get the point. Let me elaborate.

What I meant by never really leaving is that. You come back to your room and it instantly feels like home. Surprisingly. I had no trouble going about. I got back late that nights, unpacked and went straight to bed. It was one tiring day and heck I'm kinda grateful that it was. I was suppose to board the 2PM flight that Monday and I got to the airport around 1PM (woohoo) There was this damn line at the baggage drop and I almost missed my damn flight. But I didn't. If I did, I wouldn't be here right now. Jokes. My second flight got delayed and I thought it was because the plane has not arrived yet. Then I looked outside and they say there were some technical issues with the plane and that kind of scared. ( Did I mention how much I hate flying and I was super tired.) I thought to myself. I will not die here and I didn't. Landed in Kedah and a mutual friend (super nice) offered to drive us back to the hostel. It would have cost a lot if we took the taxi so I was really grateful ( Thanks man )

Oh, the Internet. Let's just say it got to the point where I am spending Sunday afternoon in KFC because the wifi here is so much better than the one back in the hostel. This is one thing that I can never ever get use to. It's so horrible I feel like I can poop jelly beans. (okay, I made that up but hey it would be cool to poop jelly beans.) Oh look. Time's up. Got to run. Laters.

#letter

Dear Theodore,

This is the open letter you decided to put on our to-blog-list and I have decided to dedicate mine to you.
This might seem like any other regular appreciation post and it might turn out to be but- yeah.
It has to be done. First things first, thank you for driving me around for almost 33 days.
I know. I know. I'll get to driving soon. Give it some time.
From the first Starbucks to the Glee obsession and of course the last night,
it was always a pleasure spending time with you.

I know that we didn't have everything crossed out on that to-do-list
but maybe we can try doing that next time you and I share a long ass holiday.
Which is probably in another year time but hey,
something to look forward to every year.
To make things fair, we did a lot more other stuff that wasn't even on the list.
That should be able to make up for it right?

Do well in your second year and stop locking yourself in your room.
Being in the library is great and all but don't forget to live life.
Stay the modest being that you are and don't hold back.
People have yet to realize your full potential.
See you next year.

is it too late?

Another week and I'll be leaving home and going back to Perlis. Another week and I will have to face another four months of constant torture. Sure. It was all fun when I first got there (okay maybe not that much fun, hello people? Living in Perlis?) If I were to write a list about the things I hate/dislike about that place. I might as well change the title of this post right now. Times like this got me reminiscing about the good old Pre-U days. Times when I was still ambitious, the fire inside still in flames. Now, when I look at myself. I can only see charcoal. I know that I made this choice for myself. I know I picked everything out for myself and that I am not suppose to regret anything but it's hard. I was young. I was naive. I thought I wanted this but maybe not so much anymore. Maybe, Engineering is just not for me. 

No. Don't get me wrong. It's not that I am doing badly in the first semester rather it's just really stressful and tiring to keep up with everything. Did  I mention that most of my labs and classes are 30 minutes bus trip away? Imagine how early I'd have to get up just to get ready for a 8AM class. Yes, empathize people. I know that the University cannot help it that the Schools and Hostels are so far away from each other but as a student who has to go through and fro everyday, I just can't help but complain a little. Oh, you might think that these reasons are not legit enough for me to quit Engineering so I suggest you to keep reading. Now, tell me one thing. What is it that the 20 year old you cannot live without? Everyone has a different story to tell and people will always have something against you no matter what. 

The 20 year old (soon to be 21) me desire only a few simple things. 

Company. Entertainment. Comfort of my family. 

When I say company, I mean the people I grew up with. People who went through things with me, the ones who supported me and got me to where I am standing now. Friends who I'm familiar with, people who I know will never wrong me in any way, those who actually give a crap about whatever it is that I am going through, those who were willing to stay and most importantly, those who will never judge me. The first thing I thought about entering University is that everyone who made it in are "pure evil super genius monsters" who are only in it for themselves and would do anything just to get to the top and  I'm not going to lie, it freaked me out and I treated everyone really coldly for the first few weeks and the respond was mutual. I have a few close friends of course, at least I have people to have lunch and dinner with, at least I won't have an empty seat beside me during bus trips, at least I won't have to be alone all the time.

Entertainment. For those who are not familiar with Perlis, you should try google-ing it. That's the first thing I did when I found out that I was going to be spending my 4 years at. To make things a little less whiny and b*tch*n, I'm going to go straight to the point. There is just nothing fun to do there. Nothing at all. Not a mall. Not a cinema. Not a life. All I can do is go for guitar lessons, grab a chatime and watch the paddy fields sway. The worst thing about studying so far away from home is the unbearable distance. I see students from Penang/Kedah go home every two weeks and it strikes me. Every. Single. Time. how I would have to wait for another two months to do so. That comfortable bed of mine. My new puppy Ayato-kun. My mother's cooking and my father's constant care. My annoying lovable brother and my first ever best friend who is also my sister. If I'd have to name one person I have to text every single day. It would be my sister. 

Now, I want you to dismiss everything you read above and continue reading. 

First of all, I like Engineering. (It's only my first year, my first semester. I believe it is still too early for me to decide) I'm not saying the units are not hard, they are freaking difficult but hey look, I'm willing to take the challenge. Second of all, I do not mind all the long rides I have to make just to get to class. If you ask me, I actually enjoy them very much. It gives me a chance to clear my thoughts, it forces me to wake up early (healthy lifestyle, good thing I have a great biological clock) and it just calms me down. The view is fantastic, paddy fields or not, it is a beautiful place. Moving on, about the "pure evil super genius" thing I mentioned before. I still think that way, well maybe except the pure evil in it for themselves and would do anything just to get to the top These people I met, my coursemates, housemates and so called sapoh group are the only things getting me through the distance from home. I have them to thank for filling my days with tears and laughter. I must say, no matter where you go, you will find people who will love you for who you are. You will find people who will never ever judge you. The only true thing about the last few paragraphs would be the unbearable distance between family and I. Whenever I stay up too late, they are all I ever think about. Not forgetting to mention the Youth I've joined there, these people really inspire me to do something about life.

The reason why I'm blogging about cheesy/sappy stuff I would NEVER blog about is because of this guy right here. 

#obviouslie

#holla

Guess who thinks she's too old for pretty/girly blogskins. 

Nah. It's just a phase. It will pass. Hopefully.

Here I am blogging from home. 

Another two weeks of intense feed yourself program and it's back to reality.

No. Don't get me wrong. 

Reality is good. It keeps me going. It really does. 

But no matter where you are, 

Home is where the heart is. 

UniMAP MSK 2014/2015

I made a promise and here I am trying to keep it. Just right before September started, I am officially a U kid. Dad and I boarded the plane on the 31st of August (my first time being on a plane) to KL and then another one to Alor Setar. We then took a taxi and went to stay at a rest house in Kuala Perlis. It was a nice place to stay for the night and to prepare for the worst (registration day). Dad then rented a car and we drove all over Perlis for over 3 hours with the help of the GPS (and some UniMAP kids along the way) what? We had to ask for directions. Had Domino's for dinner (Yes, we do have Domino's pizza here in Perlis) and got back to rest early.

September 01
I woke up really early that day, not sure if I was nervous or if it was just my biological clock putting up a show. I got up and drew the curtains, 6.30 AM and it is still pitch black. No way you'll ever see that in Sabah. Woke dad up when I went in the showers (No, I wasn't singing Taylor Swift) We both got up and left 30 minutes earlier that day.

Dad wanted to have breakfast first so we drove to somewhere around Arau and found this little chinese restaurant there. The food here is cheap. So much cheaper than it is in Sabah. Where can you get Kon Lo Mee for RM3.50 in Sabah? Breakfast ended really quick, it made a little sad. We drove further into Changlun where the main campus is and the GPS made us miss a junction and the next U-turn was a hundred years away. Just after we entered the main campus, my dad made comments about how hot Perlis is and that I should drink more water in the future so I wont't get sick easily. I nodded my head all the way to the parking until I felt something wet in my nose. Blood. Blood. Blood. On my registration day. Dad freaked out on me and made me lay down for a bit and then enhanced his 'drink more water' lecture. This time I couldn't nod so I just said ok ok ok ok ok. The bleeding stopped even before we got a parking because oh god this place is crowded. Everywhere, people roam. We got down and I walked confidently yet timidly towards the registration hall. The PPMS (the ones in charge of the MSK) ushered us to the right halls and to my surprise everything went pretty smoothly. Dad didn't have to go through it with me so he just waited outside bought me this really cute UniMAP keychain. Thanks daddy :3 After that, it was more driving. Lots more. To the hostel (Padang Besar) The closer we got to our destination, the heavier my heart sank. These guys here are quite efficient. We got there early and I got a good spot too. Second floor. Not bad. At least I don't have to climb so high up. The lift was very convenient for my broken luggage. It was 22kg or maybe even more and I made dad bring it upstairs for me (because he won't let me take it) I got to my room and there sat a lady on the bed so I took the other one. She talked about coming from Johor and then my roomate walked in. We become friends :) All this is faith. It doesn't end here. Dad insist we drive back to Kangar which is so far away, just to buy me a table and some electrical stuff. Guilty. Guilty daughter. My dad spent so much money on me and I felt really bad about it. He then sent me back up to the hostel and helped me put on the lock to my wardrobe, he even walked around the campus just to make sure I can survive in this place. He came back telling I can get water from the shop lots there and was my clothes down at the laundry room and had another look around the room. He then got up and was ready to leave. I waved him all the way to the car and tried so hard not to cry. No way am I going to make him feel bad for leaving me here. No way I'm going to let him think I'm not strong enough for this. He got on his car and I waved back at him for one last time and he drove off. I still didn't cry. I packed my stuff and talked to my roomie and then it was time for orientation. That night I saw eye candy and everything seemed a little less depressing.

September 2
Slept at 1AM trying to shower. We have 8 in a house and 2 bathrooms. I am not complaining. The other hostels have it worst. We here in Uniciti are the luckiest bunch. Woke up at 5,30AM and went down to the bustop for the 6.30 AM bus. The queue here is always LONG. So LONG you get fed up after a few times. The fed us breakfast and sent us to the Dewan  2020 in Kangar. Every bus trip we get last  at least 30 minutes. At least. We were supposed to register, receive stuff, and a photo session for the matirx card. This three things took me from 8AM to 5PM because of the LONG LONG **** ASS LONG QUEUE. It was so boring that night. I forgot what they planned for us. I was too busy trying to stay awake. The lack of water and wifi didn't help.

September 3 /September 4
We were asked to swear to always be good kids here in UniMAP and I said sure. Why not? Other than that, it was more 'OMG I am so tired let me sleep' or 'OMG shut up already' until one night, we ere suppose to have a Moral Session where the muslim and non muslim got separated and it somehow turned into a Ko-K promo session. Mr Eye Candy. He was there and for the first time in that week. I stayed awake. Met Jeck's friend form Keningau and the three of us Sabahans rocked that night. What? 3? Oh. Didn't I tell you? Miss Jay was there with me.

September 5
No more 'just let me sleep' session. We went on a trip hooray. We visited a lot of places. But what really planted my roots to stay here was the Library in Pauh. So very beautiful. So very interesting. Nothing like I have ever seen. I am thinking of posting more stuff about the library in the near future. Bear with me. Hres a glimpse of the auditorium.

We had some more lectures that night when I was interupted by one PPMS. He ushered me upstairs and there were already a bunch of girls up there. Oh god. It was our coloured hair. Gee. I dyed my hair black okay? It's not like I'm asking it to fade or anything. I wasn't alone. Miss Jay was there with me. Some of the girls got into conflict with the PPMS and there was crying and a little shouting. I didn't want to get involve. They let us off the hook and made sure we sat somewhere the Canselor won't see us. Good choice. Miss Jay and I got to catch up the night because we were problematic U kids. I got on the bus back to Uniciti and received a messaged from my sister. She remembered my birthday and going through all that was- hard. I got sentimental and cried a little in the bus. My roomie saw me and gave me tissue. My other friends didn't see me. I didn't want them to.

September 6
Got back to the hostel pretty late. Took a bath. Dried my hair and collapsed. My gals her, to my surprise woke me and sang me a birthday song. I wanted to cry but I didn't. I wasn't trying to seem ungrateful but I just couldn't go through with it again. But gals really, you guys made my day. There was no cake, no candles but there was love and a sleepy me.

Went back to bed and left my roomie to clean up. #evilroomie Woke up just before we had to leave to the field. (Not paddy field) so, I got to break a Malaysian Book Record by joining in a human domino event. Sounds quite stupid I know but it was really fun. Everyone of us got a number. Not exactly what I expected but yeah-

Look I even spotted my birth date on this guy I don't even know. Sorry dude.

People Mountain People Sea.

Eye Candy was there too.

Here's a glimpse I guess :)

We were given brunch that day and everyone was hungry. I got on the bus and checked my phone. Eye Candy. My Eye Candy. Text me. He freaking text me. I knew from the start that it was roomie. She took into accounts the good things I said about Eye Candy and she made him send me a birthday message. It was nice. #laughs #taktaumalu I probably scared him shitless. Sorry, it was just a simple compliment.
The concert that night was nice. I had fun. Got back near 2AM and that was the end of my birthday.

September 7
Woke up at 6.30AM. Went back to bed. Woke up an hour later and I was late for the bus. I rushed down to catch the bus to church and luckily it was still there. I followed 3 seniors there and met a few more in the church too. It's been so long since I went to a proper mass and #phew I did it. I wasn't hard. Never fear conflict he say, just act like adults. The seniors are so damn nice I almost cried. One of them drove us down to breakfast and the other two gave us a tour around Kangar.

Food so cheap. I love it here. 
People might think it's really sad to come to Perlis to study because there is just no entertainment around. However, that's not entirely true. This place is really nice. Shop lots. Some small cafes all within walking distance in the hostel.

It looks even better at night.

There's a first for everything. It's all about taking the first step :)

#fourletterword

Dear XXX,
Thank you for everything. I know school ended long ago and we never really have the chance to meet every single week and I know I always turn you down on outings and stuff but know that I really really long to spend more time with you. Whenever it's just the two of us, there's is just no stopping us from going all emotional and talk about 'things'. To be honest, I was a little worried that we wouldn't be able to go back to how we used to be, mostly because we don't really encounter the same things anymore and that we don't really talk much on a daily basis. Well, you proved me wrong. I was so glad that some things just won't ever change and I am happy about it. Nothing can ever come between us, I believe. Because no matter what happens, I can always count on you to have my back. Always. Thank you. I love you :)

Dear XXX,
I noticed how- we just don't talk that much anymore. We used to be so- in sync and now when I'm with you, I feel like there's a wall between us. A wall that wasn't there before. We used to talk about everything, not everything but we somehow always find something to chat about it. I don't know if you're just busy with stuff, I completely understand. I'm not pointing fingers either so please don't get me wrong. I'm just saying- I missed how we used to act around each other. Well, nothing lasts forever.

Dear XXX,
I love you. I still do. No matter how hard I try, there is just no erasing it. I tried, I really did but this stubborn heart just won't give up that easily. I know I'm not suppose to and I know I'm not suppose to let it show but I don't want to hide it and I have no reason to. I don't want to hide anything from you. Not you, definitely not the whole world. I guess it goes to show even if I don't mention your name here. For one long year, I've tried to convince myself that I was still young and naive,  I didn't know what I want. I don't see what's in store for me in the future. It's true. Til this day, I still have no idea what is it waiting for me somewhere 10 years later//20 years later. I tried to distract myself, making sure I always have work to do, always having something else to think about. I have to say, it did work. For a little while. I continued to lie to myself, lied to my heart, betraying my feelings. I thought that if I shun them away long enough, they'll just magically disappear. -laughs- girl where did you learn that from? Every time you say something, every word you say to me, every single thing you do for or not for me, affected me in so many ways that you will never ever understand. I try to stop myself at times but all that only leads to more craving. Everything you do is a big deal to me. Now and forever will. Because you know me better than anyone else. Because I know that you would understand. Because I know how you want me to be honest with you. Because  I know writing this here isn't going to sabotage what we have. I was able to. Of course, it feels bad at first. People tend to want things more when they are denied. It's true how it affect how you think and feel about things in general. Oh take it from me, I think I know enough to be commenting on this. I was in that dark place, I was being a kid, I was being the negative side of me. I lost all sense of rationality I had back then. Well, I guess love makes you do stupid things. Like I said. WAS. Now, I see things differently. I was able to let things go, I was able to be honest and upfront about my own feelings, I was able to give my heart a chance. Once you admit something, it will be easier to deal with. So much easier, HAHA. I noticed that- I don't need to have you for myself. I don't need to cling to you all the time. I also don't have to feel so bad about myself everytime I think about you. That's all because I love you. From the bottom of my heart. All I want is for you to be happy too. Seeing you happy, has got to be one of the most rewarding things in life. Being by your side, have you share your ups and downs with me. Those are the actual things that I like experiencing everyday. Just know that, this doesn't change anything. I would still be me and you will still be you and of course, we will still be us. I love you :)

#neonlights

Antie: 'Aiyah you finish form 6 already ah?'
Me: -Nods timidly- 'yeah...'
Antie: 'Ooohhhhh Lower six or Upper six ah?'
Me: 'Urm... Upper six?'
Antie: 'Ooohhhhh so fast owh! so where you want go? where you want study? what you want study? your dad let you go oversea mah? you are science stream is it? etc etc.'
Me: -awkward smile- 'he.he.he. see first oh antie.'

Yeah. Try going through that every single time you encounter one of my aunts or my parents' aunts or maybe their aunts' aunts. I'm not trying to be rude here and no I wasn't rude enough not answering their questions. I did try telling them initially but all of them just give me this 'aiyoyoh' look EVERY.SINGLE.TIME. I stopped trying to explain what I want to do or where I want to study to them altogether. It was easier saying things like 'IDK' or 'SEEFIRST' it shuts most of them up. You'll have to be very unlucky to encounter those persistent anties who digs information out of you like you just killed one of their sons or something. I'm having doubts about what I want to, exactly the reason why I haven't even touched my UPU pin. I don't want to make hasty decisions but I also want to just get on with it. I'm stuck in between what I should or want to do. The things that I want to do is just not something my parents might approve of. I don't blame them really. The thing I should do and the thing I want to do are just TWO very different things. They'll probably get mad at me for being this indecisive but yes, welcome to my brain, try to get to know your daughter more. I never thought making these decision would be so hard. Why is it so easy for everyone else? What am I lacking?-cecil harvey quote-

And then there's this other problem. I will admit that I want to go away too. I don't want to stay here. I can't be the only one, right? I mean- is it wrong that I feel this way? Wanting to go abroad just like everyone else? No. I don't think it's wrong. What's wrong is having to burden my family for my own selfish needs. Maybe not now, not this lifetime but then it strikes me. I only live once right?

rawr

you're drifting away. so far away. we were so close. you shun me away. you shun him away. you shun all of us away. we care and you don't. we tried and you didn't. we stopped and you think we stopped caring. you try to seek comfort from others because we weren't enough. or. rather you never tried to give us a chance. realize. please just realize. i want to warn you. i want to help you. if i do, you'd just push me further. i know you need time. i know you need more. i'm willing to give you those. i'll just wait. all of us will wait. hurry up and realize. hurry up and come back.  we love you.

# Form6adventure

Hello peeps. Okay. I'm not going to say something like someone pestering me to update my blog even though they never did update theirs but then again, oops I just said it. What a way to start off huh? Yes, like the hash tagged title said, my Form 6 adventure. Okay let me make it sound more japanese (sorry I've been feeding myself a lot of animes ever since STPM ended) *clears throat

TADAA! Okay don't laugh but it's directly translated and I have ZERO knowledge in the language so forgive me. Well it basically says 'Ōdorī no FORM6 Bōken' AKA Audrey's FORM6 adventure. Okay I spent too much text on that. We are now moving on. I'm trying to think of the best way to write this chronologically. It might end up in a mess though so I don't really see the point. I'll just start from where I see fit. I wouldn't know the exact time for the events too so yeah bear with me. Try not to point out too much.

2012

Orientation week was horrible. For me at least. I didn't want to be there. I was forced to go the same school again. The teacher asked us to present our ambitions and being the grumpy unmotivated me, I stood up and said I didn't have one. I probably said that just so I could be in the same group and Miss iiyee and Miss Moley. We were assigned to a team of people who wished to be accountants in the future and that is how we got to know them. The Avengers Group. Thanks to the Marvel movie I was crazy about, I made everyone in the team call me CAPTAIN AMERICA. We had activities where we have to present in front and there were a lot of annoying people AKA Miss Chancello with her 'seriouslys' and 'rights'. Even so, it was a wonderful week. (not really.) Oh and I got mad at the counselor teacher for being a d**k to us.

The class was filed with strangers and we all know how I feel about strangers. They are evil and mean, they won't talk to you and look down on you until you prove yourself worthy. What was I suppose to do? I had nothing to prove, I couldn't beat these people. They all came from other schools and they all look like they're going to kick my butt in the next exams. Everyone, I say (well mostly everyone ) gave me this intimidating aura. I remember everyone standing outside the class waiting for the school lady to unlock the door and when she did, I rushed in and got the middle seats. ( I was so rude! ) Everyone got to their seats, some of them arrived late and had to go look for extra tables. The teacher came in and asked for volunteers( class rep ), there she was, Miss Red Head( Previously known as Miss CC, nick name changed due to her current hair colour) shot her hand up looking all so enthusiastic. I thought to myself. 'Woah this girl got guts.' The other higher ups position were assigned after exchanging nasty yet subtle recommendations but all is well. Things were good. Now on to the the assignments of our MUET groups. The groups were assigned from the name list. Since Miss iiyee, Miss Angel, Mr Freedom and I are the first 4 person, we were the very first group. Miss Teo made everyone sit in group and she asked us to do our Speaking, I took my file, my notebook and my chair and turned to sit with all of them. I though to myself. 'OMG it's the smart kid from ShanTao and that girl from Lawas. thank God I still have Abby here with me. Thank you Thank you Thank you' *laughs After a few sessions of Speaking with them. I notice how Miss iiyee is very good at being spontaneous, Miss Angel never running out of points and Mr Freedom being a really gentle person, oh and he is also really good with point and words. I envy all those. I am a very 'stick to the book' person. I can't do spontaneous, I don't have many points so I end up twisting my points a lot. I know this is going to sound really arrogant and stuff but - I felt that, my group was one of the best *sparkle

Sports day came by really quickly. Being former greenies, Mr Bear Cat and I decided to pay the marching team a visit. Well, we lend them some help (not much really) we just showed up on the actual day to help them with the costumes and stuff. They let us be apart of the picture too awww how sweet. Too bad I turned them down. Unlike a shameless person I know.

I forgot if the Orientation games were after or before the Sports Day (oh well ). The orientation games. Ahhhh. Memories. I remember being assigned to a group with my Librarian senpai, Miss Jay, Mr Soccer, and Mr F. They were all so quiet. I initiate everything lawl (according to Mr Soccer ) and thus Our group was named "7 ELEVEN" because we have 11 members and 7 girls. Genius. Judge me if you must. I have to say that our group looked like the underdog that year, our leader was a really soft and nice girl and she was really shy too. We did our best anyway and we discovered talents that day. I remember Mr Soccer counting cash calmly while people try to distract him. I also remember our team being insanely fast with the paper clip floating on the water surface thing. My team was the best because we won that day. No seriously. We won. It wasn't some 'even though we lost the game but we had strengthen our bond' kind of thing. *laughs Thank you Senpais for opening me up that day. I was truly happy. I don't know why but I can't find a picture for this.

Then came the PRA U PLCS games. Soo senpai was looking around for players. He wanted to look for more juniors for the boys basketball team. Miss Jay was also assigned to look for female players and she asked me. I turned her down. ( I was so rude! ) I didn't want to play because I was shy. There will be so many people watching and if you screw up, you screw up. People will exchange glances. People will laugh and I cannot stand / have people laughing at me. In the end, I joined anyway. Got to befriend Ying Senpai, Irene Senpai, Amanda Senpai, Li Juan Senpai and Zahirah Senpai (Oriention game captain!) That morning before the game, we got to hang out before heading to school. We went to an arcade to practice. Totally beat Mr Fencing that time. McDonalds for lunch that day. We only had to play two games against All Saint and a school from Inanam (omg sorry I forgot their names) but they were really rude and lack sportsmanship, I didn't really like that bunch. The game with All Saint however was really epic. I had so much fun. So Our school won. The boys won too. *Smiles Oh I also initially thought Soo Senpai was a bit arrogant and that he needs to lighten up (woah he's somewhat like Tsubaki from Sket Dance Episode 10 ) when he told me to change my shoes to fit school regulations. I was wrong. He is an awesome senior. I would often sneak glances at him whenever he passes our class. Well, me and certain people of course.

Enough about sports. We should talk about our clubs now. Thanks to Mr Bear Cat. A lot from our class have decided to be School Librarians. Genius. We went to the meeting, the interview. The horrible horrible interview. Note to self. Never ever let your best friend give you an interview. We contributed to the Library and our Senpais until they had to step down. The day of the election was somewhere near my Birthday if I'm not mistaken. Everyone gathered in the class. Some had to go find chairs because one classroom just isn't enough for everyone. Cherral Senpai was really nice and soft, she was really respectful to the teachers and she took care of us juniors *cheers But she retired and I was the new President. Hooray. I was given a really busy Vice Prez though so we didn't have many chances to work together. Oh I even got my sister to join. Wonderful. It was stressful at first. It was stressful after too. The library work (the messy books) never ends. NEVA! Good thing I had my people to back me up. I wrote a post last time. There it was, my first encounter with Miss Scorpio. *wink
I shall post my birthday picture here because I want to. *grins Thank you fifits <3

taken from fifit marie's blog <3 Abby is pointing at the sign board btw

Now, not forgetting the KEM PERDANA we signed up for. Not as contestants, more like the helpers of the camp. We didn't have to do much. We prepare stuff, we help the teachers out and most of them time we just sit back, relax and gossip til it snows. Through this camp, I got to know Miss Leaf more, it was sad when she had to quit Form 6 *cries The camp was really nice too, I got to watch other people suffer muahahaha. The saddest part is that we have to feed the campers first before we get to eat. Knowing the boys in KKHS, even the third round is not enough for them. So most time we just end up with very little food left. It was alright! I got to lose some weight. (yeah right)

Months passed, so much homework, so much maths to do. So much to do but so little time. Juniors were suppose to work on Prom for our seniors. I attended some of the meetings and they asked me to be their MC. I turned them down. (I was so rude!) I turned them down because I was scared. I have stage fright. Bla Bla Bla all those people staring and laughing at me stuff again. In the end, I did it. Of course I needed a lot of encouragement and a birthday present just to say yes. (omgosh I want to punch myself) I remember looking for dresses with the fifits, it was so nice. It was on the same day we had korean. It was also my first time having korean food. See the fifits teach me so much. *sparkle Prom was right after exams and the Librarian farewell party was right after Prom. Wonderful isn't it? Prom was on a Friday. I had to rush home and prepare myself. I couldn't wear my dress directly because Mr Bear Cat and I had unfinished business regarding the Librarian farewell. We had to do our speeches and buy gifts and asdfghjkl yes- a lot to do. We got there early meeting up with Mr I-can-bend-my-hand and Mr Ukiss (both were MCs too) I have to say, they did a really good job. It was my loss. *cries It was a fun night. Miss Scorpio and Mr Bear Cat sang that night. We also did a dance. (well not we) Gangnam Style. I had so much fun. We had so much fun. Here's to us.

Going to fast forward to Graduation Day. What? No. Not mine. Our seniors. I don't remember much. I only know we were asked to lined up to clap for whoever important people walking in. After that we were asked to just sit down and watch. Oh Mr Bear Cat and Miss Scorpio were MC that time. Teacher really counted on them that time. Phew. That time. It never hit me that I was going to graduate just in a year time. It was almost SEM 1 exams too. What was I doing with my life that time? I D K. So the days went by and SEM 1 was over really quickly. We even had a Librarian meeting right after the last paper too. Life of a Prez. It was fun and rewarding. Wait. I just skipped through a whole year there! I should have said. Life of a Prez. Is fun and rewarding.

2013

SEM 2 was really stressful for me. I found myself worrying about a lot of things which leads to the lack of activities during that time. However, like I said. Life of a Prez. Rewarding. We held a surprise party for our teacher advisor Cikgu Florence right after one of our meetings. It wasn't my idea, it was Miss Hello Kitty's idea. She was really considerate and stuff, she got her a cake and made her a huge card. Well it was suppose to be just us Upper six that time( Yes. Upper Six. I said it ), but we got some juniors I have a crush on to join us afterwards. I remember making them feel bad because they dirtied Mr Naruto's table and making them sweep our classroom floor. *evil laugh remembering Mr Martini. Mr ChaGuo & Mr FU.

I also joined this School Camp with Miss Red Head. We didn't want to go. Apparently, the school won't let us get away with it if we didn't so we just went with it. I really hated the teachers that time. Well the good part is that Miss Red Head and I were in the same team and we had to take care of a few 13 year olds. They were a handful I have to say but they listen when they have to. One of them was Mr Neighbour's little brother. You have no idea how awkward it was. I gave him hints that I know his brother and he must have asked his brother about it at home. He probably learned the awkward truth and started being really friendly with me in school. The kids- ugh they don't listen and they are kind of disrespectful, they don't treat us like seniors, they treat us like friends. I guess that's not a bad thing too, that just means we are not hard to get a long with right? So the camp was about trying to break a Malaysian record where we have to paint the 1 Malaysia logo. A lot of them. I don't remember how much but we just have to. The Persembahan night got cancelled even after all of us tried to come up with a plot. I was glad that we didn't have to go up though because I wad dead nervous. I couldn't show the kids! They would get scare. I remember this girl who was allergic to something and she had to stay in the classroom because she was crying a lot. I asked if she wanted to go home and she refused, so I asked my group members to bring dinner up for her but then when they came back they told me the teachers have already let her leave school. Poor girl. She was really enthusiastic too. I made a lot younger friends here. I also got to paint til my arms drop.

Library activities happen almost every month. There was the Family Reading Day program in April. Bookmark sell (which was surprisingly popular) during Chinese New Year. Bookmark sell in September and the Minggu Membaca in October. I think. Oh Mr Soccer and I took part in this GUESS GUESS GUESS game where one person draws and the other guesses. We joined last minute and we won. *laughs I was acting like an idiot though but it was worth it. It was fun. There was the late Pelantikan. Some other small activities too. Okay maybe it wasn't much work after all. LOL Remember how I described Senior Cherral being really soft and nice. I am the total opposite. I growl at my juniors and make them suffer. I make them write me letters whenever they are late and I always go check on them for reasons you should not know about. They always tell me to lighten up and try to get away by making me laugh or joke around. Those were the days. The days as Prez. I am going to miss that very much. Which reminds me. I watched Sket Dance Episode 70 and I cried a fountain. It was so beautiful. I am not giving any spoilers away but it really got me thinking about school life again and how I am never ever getting the chance again. Aaaaaaaah Sket Dance.

SEM 3 came and things got interesting. There were more things to do, more things to look forward to. We have juniors coming hooray. Now we will be able to find people to be our scapegoats. Well it's not all like that, we were really excited! Really. I even offered to help Mr Goh out during the registration. All four of us. Miss Psyduck, Miss Snow White, Miss Moley and I. Of course I had my eyes on two really cute but arrogant twins. It's normal for a woman to find hot guys interesting. Okay maybe they're not hot but they definitely caught my eye. Okay not sure if I should have said that but- meh I'm over them. People ought to know how things were back then. The registration was fun. I get to skip class too only to have Mr Oong come and give us graphs to do. Oh btw I enjoy drawing the PA graphs. I just hate it when I have to do it under pressure. That concludes the Lower Six Registration. Note to self. People don't always seem the way they are when you first met. First impressions are everything but people change. Adapt. You have no idea how many times I reselected the future president and secretary of the library. Ask Miss Scorpio.

Sports Day 2013. Yeah. Torture. Thanks to Mr Soon Lok, I was the Head of the marching team. I'm in charge of the costumes and banners and stuff. So since I'm in the Orange team this year (I betrayed the greenies *cries ) We all decided on the Flintstones and we had to make costumes. Miss Vyonne, Mr Soon Lok and I worked really hard on the costumes. We went to get the materials, went to Miss Vyonne's place to sew all the costumes. I am very greatly that she is the daughter of Tung E and that her mom is a great tailor. I felt like I was interfering with their work though and I kind of felt bad but there was no other choice. I can't do these girly stuff *growls I don't have pictures because the school banned the students from posting pictures (I D K why but WTF) We drew and painted the banner and flag. 'YABA DABA DOO' all the way. In the end, we got third place. Not too bad eh? *winks

The Beach Party AKA Class party! Well most of the class went and we had too much food. WE couldn't finish the food and we don't have enough water lawl. Note to self. Next time you go to the beach, prepare less food but more water. Apparently boys don't eat at the beach, they play ball and get hurt. Mr Freedom, Mr Key, Mr Same birthday, Miss Scorpio and I were barbeque-ing all the way. I was really really really scared that it was going to rain on that day because I chose the date lmao. I couldn't sleep my gosh. Well it did rain but it happened after everything was done. We got a break from all the food and we started playing ball with Mr Bestah. HAHA I love that teacher. Mr Fencer climbed up really high and couldn't get down because he was afraid of heights. Miss Jay having accident with the barbeque lamb. Mr Tall having an abdominal pain when I kicked him while we were playing ball. Miss Chancello and her outfit. Ahhhh. Memories. Priceless.

Form 6 Orientation Games 2013. This time. I was team leader. Ferocious team leader indeed. The games were really exciting. I had friends organising them and they were being really sneaky about the whole thing. Which made everything MORE fun. Like the year before. Mr Soccer and I are in the same team again! This time we also have Miss iiyee and the juniors I hand picked myself. I'll only mention some games here. Can't give you guys everything you know. The tissue blowing game. Goodness we have travel the tissue paper through a distance while keeping it in the air for all times. We were crawling over each other trying to blow the tissue up. We had many fails but we got through it. The Plasticine Guess Game. Alright. Members are to describe the object they were given using a plasticine, I decided that I should be the one trying to guess the final product. While I was waiting for them to finish. They laughed. They giggled. I didn't get it until I turned around to see it. It looked like a bra. It seriously looks like a bra. I DON'T KNOW what it is! So one my members cheated, they signalled me. It was glasses. We passed. OMG I know it was wrong and stuff but it was an ehem ehem member so I was really happy and omg yeah that's all I'm telling you shhh. In the end, we got third place. Still not bad right? *winks you'll probably wonder why we have that weird pose. Well that's because. We are AYAM TITANIUM (group name inspired by Miss iiyee) I really liked that day. SO MUCH

So came the SUKAN PRA U thing. I don't really know about. This year there wasn't any basketball but we were asked to play netball. Unlike the year before. We totally screwed up. I feel bad for my juniors. We even got really nice jerseys. We were really bad because we weren't familiar with the rules. Here's a picture anyway.

More Exams. More PBS. More things to do. More exercises. More Studying. So much to do. Again, so little time.

This year, we got our juniors to organize Prom for us. A lot were against it and made a commotion but our class stood strong. 99% of us made it that night. Of course, with a lot of persuasion and scolding. Heck these guys in my class really enjoys it when you ball a fist at them. One of the things I like about them too. They don't hold grudges. *cheers 6AS guys you rock. Dresses. Shoes. Accessories. *growls It took a really LONG time to hunt that dress down. I initially bought one but then I changed my mind. I got another cheaper one and was really reluctant to wear it too. I couldn't make up my mind. Okay skip the girls stuff. I already made a post about PROM! Everyone was beautiful that night. All the guys looked 45% hunkier than usual and they sure like taking picture. (more like photo bombing. Yes Mr F I'm talking about you) There were definitely more of us this year compared to the year before. Everyone understood that it was going to be the last time everyone would be able to spend time like this. Another wonderful night.

Arriving at the end. Graduation Day. Putting on our 'robes'. Gettng ready by the entrance. Finally we walked into the hall. One by one, all of us. Received our teacher's blessings. Our junior's blessings. Everything just seemed really sad. I also had a post up about Graduation so I'm not going to say much. I remember the first day of Orientation. How I thought I was going to regret everything. How Form 6 isn't going to benefit me in any way. I was SO SO SO SO wrong. I want to strangle my old self so much. All the ups and downs I went through. I was never alone. Everyone was with me. I made so many friends, someone who I can count on no matter what. I have people fighting with me, no matter how hard the situation, NO one gave in. NO one gave up. I am not going to say that it was easy because it wasn't. The amount of studying you need to do will drive you nuts. But don't forget the friends you made along the way, they became your strength, they became the reason you're holding on. (my this it sounding like some anime ending) I HAVE NO REGRETS. My Form Six Adventure was an epic one. The people I met are the epic ones too. That concludes everything I have to say to you.

Here's from me. Miss Audrey Elora C. 11.12.13

#rosesareblue

I know I shouldn't be doing any updates yet. Why? I still have papers to sit for that's why? However, I just feel like writing this down so I'll remember it forever. I don't even know why? I don't know if it's appropriate either. I'd like to write this to my hero. One can have many heroes but this man right here will forever be my number 1. Dearest Mr Hero, I know we aren't close like how we should be and I kind of understand that you are a man of not so many words either. You look fierce and seldom show any sign of tenderness but I know deep down inside, way deep down. I am your little girl. Well I'm not daddy's little girl though I kind of wish I was, you know being able to run to your daddy whenever things get rough. These 19 years pass by so quickly and I can now have a chance to reflect on the things I did, the things we used to do when I was younger. I know you're the 'you have to make it through alone' kind of guy and you kind of let me grew up in that kind of situation. I never really get to run to you when things get rough and I know you never really had a chance to do so with yours to because he died young but it's okay because you made me a stronger a person. A person that does not have to rely on people to get things done. Death. The most horrifying word. No, I'm not afraid of dying. I'm afraid of other people dying. I am afraid of being left behind. Be it an animal or a person, it breaks my heart to think that their families are being left behind. The worst feeling, the feeling of being left behind. Oh, no. You've never left me behind. You waited for me, waited for me to grow. Patiently, you watched me blossom. You always worked behind the scenes, you always want to seem strong. You always want to give people the feeling that you are reliable. Guess I got that from you. I know you're strong, on the outside, maybe on in the inside too. But I want to protect you, I want to take care of you too. It's going to be my turn and you're going to have to let me. I want to tell you things, I really do but I don't want to burden you with any more useless crap you have to deal with. I want to ask you stuff, I want to you to take care of yourself, I want you to just relax but I can't bring myself to say it. I'm sure no one should have this much trouble but I do and I feel guilty. I am afraid of awkwardness. I am afraid that I might seem different. I am afraid that you think I am deserting you. I am not. I will not. I will never. Don't be afraid to rely on me. You deserve to rely on me. Like I always have relied on you. Quietly. I love you.

#graduates

Like they say, nothing lasts forever. I graduated today together with all my precious friends. It feels like it's even closer to the final exams now. I'm scared. I really am. It's really frustrating to think that you might not be able to do well this time. I cannot lie but I do feel discourage because I feel like I've been slacking off a lot this semester. Well, blame yourself. I'll do this graduation post before I start being in berserk study mode. I highly doubt there will be anymore blogpost anytime soon.

I woke up really early today. I don't know if it was from all the excitement but I did. I got to school rather late though because I had breakfast with my mom. She insist I have breakfast before the Convo so I said yes. I got to school and everyone was busy doing their hair, playing cards, taking pictures, etc. I took Mr Goalkeeper's camera and took pictures of everyone who was in class at that time. It didn't take too long before all of us were to assemble in the hall. We settled down, stood in front of fans, made fun of our oversized jubah, took more pictures, etc. Mom went to my Convo again this year, it was all last minute because she told me she wasn't going to attend the other day. She came anyway and she doesn't know how much that meant to me, she got flowers and it was beautiful. Thank you mom. I heart you so much ;,) Haha she told me not to put any pictures of her on facebook. Well, too late mom.

We all lined up outside the hall waiting for the guests to arrive. It was a really long line. All 77 of us. A lot of chats were made, flash mob plans, height comparing and of course more jubah fun making. We waited for a bit and it was finally the time to enter the hall. The moment when I walked down that hall, I feel like everyone was looking at me and I want to look presentable. I feel presentable. I feel superior (maybe because I'm like older than most of the people in school) but seriously that feeling when we slowly paced to our seats, it was magical. We sat and listened to speeches where Mr Freedom and I would occasionally make fun of. It took a REALLY long time for all the speeches to end but I guess all of that was worth the wait. One by one, all of us went up there to receive that certificate. Mom came up with me, that made me happy too teehee. The whole thing was over rather quickly. It felt like time just sped up for no reason. We then went up to present the ukelele to Mr Bestah, I sure hope he likes the gift. I mean he looks like it :)

I should mention the gifts I got today. The flowers my mom got me aside. Mr Fencer and I decided to get each other felt Avengers 'flower' graduation thingy. We bought it the day before and were asked to decorate it at home to present to the other the second day. I decided to add his name and the date of our Convo to his 'graduation flower thingy' which made him really guilty coz he thought I was just joking about the decorating part. I didn't do it on purpose just to make him feel guilty. I just really wanted to do something for the guy :) He is my adorable little brother :)
                                 
                                     

The juniors got every senior a Rose too. It was really nice of them. However, I would like to mention two special juniors who gave me a card. The content was really sweet and it made me cry. I know I'm not suppose to cry over such things but it was just- right at that moment. I want to thank Mr Chew and Mr Chai who wrote such kind words. I will forever remember you guys for being so sweet on my Graduation. Not forgetting Miss Scorpio. I absolutely love the Origami flower you made me. Thank you so much. I don't know if you knew but I really like doing origami teehee.

Two hours passed by so quickly and it was finally time to go up that stage one last time to shake our lecturer's hands. I shook Mr Bestah's hand, really wanted to give him a hug. Too bad I don't have the courage to, I was afraid that if I did, it was going to make me cry.  I shook hand by hand thinking to myself how I am going to leave the school, leave my teachers, leave all of my wonderful friends. My kokoro was in pain. I continued anyways and I got to Madam Victoria. She pulled me into a hug and it made me teary. I got to Miss Sheily and she detected my tears and she urged me not to cry. Goodness that did not work. I could feel my tears on my cheek. Lastly I got to the last teacher, Madam Kong who radiates a very motherly presence to me. She shook my hand and she pulled me into a hug. That was the last straw, I could not contain it anymore. I just let it all out. I turned to leave and Madam Kong was still grabbing my hand so tightly. So tightly it made me want to cry even more. She let go eventually and I left only to find Miss Sexy Fifit and Miss Angel standing there waiting for me. Miss Angel looked at me and smiled, '我知道你一定会哭的' Goodness. That made me cry even harder. The three of us walked pass all the lower forms and they just stared at me crying. I walked pass the lower six and I saw Mr Chew staring at me lawl. Miss Sexy Fifit decided to get her camera out and made everyone take pictures with the crying me. The guys were certainly enjoying it. How could you Mr Chess!? Had GROUP photo (YES GROUP). I'll let the picture talk.

I'm pretty sure you all can guess what's up next. Yep. PHOTO FRENZY. I must thank everyone who came with a Polaroid / Camera. Took a lot of pictures (AS USUAL) I got a picture with Mr PA and Mr Chemistry and of course my favourite teacher Mr Bestah. I don't have a picture with Madam Kong :(

Everything was nice. I don't know if that's the right way to describe it but it really was heart warming :) I really hope that things don't end when Form 6 does. I want to still be able to hang with my buddies even after graduation. Things will be better. I know it will. Here's from me to you.