a few weeks ago I was stressing out about STPM and now well yeah, I guess I'm still stressing out and I think I might flunk my second trial. I am a failure. Okay I'll get back to that emo post later on. AND NOW (omg this mc thing is sticking to me lol)

PROM was awesome.

I mean yeah the stress of having to bear the burden of a MC was really hard to handle but at least I had three other guys doing the same with me. I have to thank them for putting up with all my drama and actually made this thing happen! All these three boys worked really hard to get things going. (Especially the one who is actually taller than me :/) Being the MC is really tough for me because I cannot react to sudden changes, I hate it when things go out of order and I have to kill some brain cells just to think about how to react to the damn situation. I pushed things I cannot handle to my partner because he is just so much more capable than me :)

If you're wondering, I'm the one in the dress wearing heels LOL, this isn't going to be a very long post, I feel guilty for blogging like crazy instead of filling my brain with some physics or chemistry but blogging about PROM is a must! So I'll start with the things that happened Friday morning, chemistry paper, DIE. I only knew how to do 20% of the paper, I feel like a failure. Well I got used to that because the same thing happened with Physics and Maths T, it was hell. However, that one and a half hour passed by really quickly, hahahaha NO. Did I mention that the my exam seat is super hot and contained. I sweat while I was sleeping and that day I woke up because I COULDN'T FREAKING BREATHE. I went to the library to check on things and it was a mess LOL. I guess not many went to duty because HELLO exam week, and then teacher Bevina walked in and gave me another pressure talk :( omgosh I cannot take that kind of things, I mean I don't like being pressured, she's talking about hoping that I'll show leadership and do something good for the library. I'm scared. Teacher Florence was there too and she said things too but I couldn't really remember because both of them talked to me at the same time. Talked some more to the teacher about the next day's jamuan and then I remembered the MUET listening exam. Hoho. I remember it starting after some ulangkaji but oh boy they started early and the whole class waiting for TK and I. wtf. okay. enough. suan liao.

After school, I got home and made the script and kakao Abby in between. We were debating about if she should get new shoes and then I convinced her to buy the shoes yay~ I got ready and went to TK's, went to CP did some PSS stuff and then GOT YOYO YAY. Rush rush rush and then got to Ming Garden. We were the earliest. Nobody else was there well except for that one worker, she was busy putting up the decoration. Alan, Franson, TK and I practiced for about an hour and I had to go change and get pretty :3 Must thank fifit for helping me with make up because I know nothing about those D:

not feeling the pressure yet, we still had time to fool around until more and more people started filling up the room. I have stage fright and I hate crowds. Alan and Franson were getting more and more confident because the room was filled with a lot of pretty girls. (according to them lah)

 TK was rushing the video and stuff and had not much time to practice so we didn't really practice much.

Ngai I should have wore a necklace.

Never ever take on this task again Audrey. It stresses you out.

I like the platform, it's super nice to step on.

I guess the whole went pretty well, it was overall satisfying :) just that I wished the senior would cooperate with us more. I have to say I am kind of disappointed when no one especially the seniors came up to waltz. Some of the more supporting and sporting seniors :3 I thank you all for coming up front to dance.

Got dragged out to do the slow dance. Nah show you a picture I like lah LOL.

I can see my preggo like stomach LOL and don't even start with the earmuffs. :3 I think they're cute haha.

Tiong? Why you look at us?! Look back at Ellen!

 Oh did I mentioned that TK and Brian has matching ring and clothing? Take a closer look at their top and you will notice that it is of same design but different color. LOL I OFFSIDE.

Judith & I :D

Should have said he was my favorite senior :D (FOR NO REASON, just coz he's really cute.)

This heart shape won't stick to the board anymore and everyone decided to take pictures with it, including US coz we are camwhores bwaahhahaa

NAH 6 RENDAH SAINS :3 

it's a shame that Cheng Yeng, Xiao Yhun and Chee Chia wasn't in this with us :(

credit goes to iiyee :3 ABBY i really like this one.

and not forgetting me fifits :P

I wanted to taste Abby's face but my tongue wasn't long enough to reach her pretty face! We didn't take much pictures this time because we were all really busy with our own stuffs. NEXT YEAR LAH lol.

I guess that's all from me, sorry but the broken Malaysian English. I failed MUET.

LIKE A BOSS

This place has been inactive for a while and  I do apologize. I really don't have time to mess around anymore and even if I did, I wouldn't always be in the right mood to update my blog. So now that I am actually typing right here (omgosh I sound like everyone is despoopoo to read my blog or something. Perasan-ing.) I would like to tell you about how life might turn out for me if I were a guy. The main reason why I even thought of this is because of my freaking PMS today.I thought I was going to die, it's so hard being a girl.

If i were a guy,

1. I don't think  my brother would have existed. So I strongly think that he should be thanking me for this. The reason why we have a brother is because we didn't have one to begin with, my dad being the first one among all his siblings to get married, they wanted a boy and sadly the first one(me) came with a vagina. Then came a second one, also with a vagina. I don't know if it's me or just them- I think they're all despoopoo to have a dick in the family. My mom took the chance and gave birth to another one and this is how I got my annoying little brother. Okay. This whole paragraph is like so irrelevant.

2. My grandparents would have adored me. I mean they do love me and all but like I said, they prefer dicks and if and only if I have one. They would have treated me like a KING. I mean if I keep all of these achievements(not much but it's enough for them) I've been getting, I'm pretty sure they'll think I'm awesome. (Perasan-ing again. Sorry. I'm pretty it's PMS.) Not to mention my aunts and uncles, they already do like me but then if i were a boy, it would be 123456789 times better.

So those are like the good parts but what about the bad parts?

3. I would have never met the FIFITS, I mean I would have but then I am a guy. Would they even let a guy join the fifits, well maybe they will but would I join? I am a guy and hanging out with a group of girls would make me look like I'm friend-zoned or something. I would have never being able to unleash my inner yellowness to my girls and I would have to do it on guys or else the girls might report me to the teachers and get me into to massive troubles. Also, even if I did unleash me hamness onto the guys, would they be able to take it in openly? BOYS and GIRLS and different species. VERY different. Meh. Forget that, how would I know? Right?

Here's another paragraph where I'm going to be all PERASAN again. You may scroll past if you wish. I wouldn't want to burn your eyes. But maybe I do, whatever just read it.
If I were a guy, I think I would be hot. I would have gotten my driver's license last year and I would have been able to drive my mom's car while she gets a new one. If I were a boy, I would be so much closer to my brother, I might even have to share a room with him and my sister will be all alone and my brother and I might even gang up on her. (Woah that's sad.) If I were a boy, I might even have a girlfriend right now and I would never have put up with just being a teacher, I doubt it'll even cross my mind. I would have aimed higher and strive harder. If I was guy, things would become so much easier. So much easier. But then, what if it isn't? What if staying a girl was the best choice? I will never know. I just hope that I wasn't given a choice when I was brought to this world. Like you have two button right in front of you before you launch yourself out into this sorry yet surprising world, if I did have that decision to make, I think I regret it now.

I'm not saying I'm not happy with everything I have now, I just think it might be fun to think of all the possibilities. Imagine having everything we ever dreamed. Don't you want it? Maybe? Can you see it? Kinda.  What if huh?

Random Conversation I had with my mom:
me: mom imagine me, a guy.
mom: no way. you're going to be a massive headache.
me: why? won't be i be like your tall hot son?
mom: who cares about that?
me: then how am i going to give you headaches?
mom: when you bring girls home lah!
me: -laughs- but what if I'm gay?

She did answer my question.

oh and woah.
Andrew Garfield is so hot.























Yes Andrew, ASDFGHJKL is almost correct.


I noticed Mike Teo also likes this pose.

okay I better stop before this turns into SPAM.

oh wait. It already is.

It's finally over and now I'm starting to wonder when will I ever be able to hold the ball again. I mean I am not going to be able to play anymore which is really sad, I can actually lose weight if I keep this up for maybe half a year. I don't have the motivation to and I'm far too lazy, I am going to let my fats accumulate after this. I have to admit, I'm actually glad Bestah wrote my name and made me join the team. I would have nver volunteered either, I could never bring my self to do it. Lacking self esteem and all, I was really close to quitting but yes, just like what T said I know what my priorities are. I decided to stick with them team because they didn't have enough members. (actually we have enough LOL) I just want to thank everyone on the team for making me feel so appreciated, I feel so wanted and it really strives me harder to score more points but I failed everyone the second match against Inanam. I couldn't get my balls in the basket ngai. I don't know. Maybe it was me, or it was those girls constantly pushing me back and forth. I don't mean to badmouth the other schools here, but I feel that Inanam girls were a bit too rough. The game against All Saints was really awesome, I felt really accomplish. I want to be able to see them again next year, please do come back :3 I'm too lazy to write so I'm going to give you pictures instead.

Took this picture with Karee and omg. I look like a man. #foreveralone

                                            

Okay now I'm lazy. Enough. I'm such a lazy blogger. I fail.

PFFT.

                             

yes let this picture haunt you.

Extra pictures where credits goes to iiyee
                   
       

 

I swear, all my embarrassing pictures can be found on either Aby's or TK's blog.

I'm sorry I've been neglecting this blog, I just couldn't find the time or things to write(nah, I'm joking. I'm just lazy.) A lot of things have happened and I cannot possibly list everything down here. I will however talk about how school has been treating me and maybe a little bit on how I think of my FORM6 life. 

We have this F6 carnival going on and teachers and students are all busy looking for players or AJKs, thanks to Judith and that sneaky teacher(not going to give any names), I was forced to join this basketball competition where we'll have to go against the other school or something. I doubted myself at first, I've stop playing for like years now and I'm getting back on track, besides I wasn't that good of a player too that's why I never got the chance to represent our school last time(it is also because my parents were being all "YOU MUST STUDY FOR PMR NOW. NO MORE ACTIVITIES." Well that was years back but I still remember, I quit everything that year just so I could satisfy my parents.) Well I'm not saying that I blame them for it but I actually want to thank them for doing so, I mean I would have totally abandoned my academics if they didn't stop me last time. So the story goes on and on and we had practice and all, we were having a pretty good time until it was actually time for the real thing. THE COMPETITION. Came to school early today with my PJK on, helped out a little in school and had an unexpected outing. TROLOLOL you guys know who you are. Went to T's place and we were locked out, tried getting the keys and failed for the first time. Thanks to my hand skills, we managed to get the door open so we won't have to stand outside until somebody actually comes home. After that we rushed to school and HAD MCD FOR LUNCH.(I couldn't really eat anything because I was to fucking nervous. I didn't finish my fries or my Pepsi. I just took off.) GAME START AND it was horrible at first, I had a feeling we were going to go down the loo but somehow the table turned and we actually won. 28-16. My team mates, were fucking awesome. I hope we can do just as good tomorrow. I would love to write more but my eyes just can't take it anymore. 

I have blog stalkers. I'm happy. PFFT

Yay I finally have something to talk about.(not really.) I've been trying to get my mind to work and actually try pouring something into this lonely lonely lonely blog of mine. (Stalkers please leave me a tag or something. I NEED MORE STALKERS.) Like I said, this whole two week is finally reaching it's end and I haven't done anything productive. I am definitely getting tuition teachers. 2/3 TUITION teachers. KENAPA my teacher tak pandai ajar? WAE? I called Madam Chai and my house reception really sucks so I couldn't really hear what she was saying. It was like tcchchhchch RM 100 tchchchchch how many of you ah? tchchhchchhc okay. where I live ah? tchhhchchchh ask your seniors lah tchchhhchhchch alright bye tchhhhhh.

I don't think she was taking me seriously. I don't know why, maybe it's because I sounded like an idiot huh? GAH.

cml invited me to wei woon's bday surprise but I didn't go. That means I missed the chance to go hang out with the rest of the fifits, you guys went to ZENQ *sobs* sorry I couldn't make it. 

FRIDAY.

woke up pretty early that day, I was planning on finishing what's left of my homework but then I got distracted, by horoscopes and moon signs and venus signs and mercury signs. I am addicted to astrology. I found out that I'm a Virgo with a Taurus moon, Libra ascendant, Venus in Libra and Mercury in Libra so overall I have more traits of a LIBRA which is kind off depressing because I always thought I was a Virgo type of person. (It gives me a reason to be cranky all the time. People think I'm constantly on my period.) I skipped breakfast just for this astrology stuff and when I checked the time it was already 11AM. I wanted to back out, I really did but I just couldn't bring myself to do it, to ruin an old lady's day. (Yep that's what he said.) I had to obediently change into something more presentable and wait for T to pick me up. HE WAS LATE. "i told the teacher 12.30 so I wouldnt be as early 12 but we need to get there early for seats" PFFT yeah right, the teacher got there first and she wanted both of us to sit in front of her. I was nervous and afraid because of reasons.

 Oh you wanna hear them? 1 2 3 here I go.
1. I do not know the teacher.
2. The teacher does not know me.
3. I was never a PSS.
4. SHE DID NOT EVEN KNOW I EXISTED.

I went anyway. I don't know how or why. I ordered for something really cheap because I had a feeling that Ellie is going to pay for our lunch(wait, Vanilla smoothie was cheap?) and she really did. We talked a lot and she told us stories that rich people could never understand, she asked about school and future and stuff and I'm the only one who did not gave my full answer and opinion. I was afraid that I might say something wrong or stupid and ended up humiliating myself in front of them. After lunch we decided to go for desert(yay) and yes we went to ZENQ, we ordered at the counter and that's when Ellie and T decided to cause a commotion.

Kent: I'll have this.
me: I'll have this one then.
T: I WANT ICE CREAM.
Ellie: -orders for her mixed fruit shaved ice-
girl: oh you get to have one free drink, please choose from here.
me: -give then opportunity to choose- this one then.
Ellie: -sneakily and hastily hands the cashier money-
T: NOOOOOOOOO I SAID I WAS PAYING-grabs cashier's hand-
Ellie: oh no no no let me pay.-grabs cashier's and T's hand-
me: -standing between them- ...
T: AUDREY TAKE THE MONEY.
Ellie: no I said to let me pay.
cashier: -awkward smile-
other staff and customers:-looks at and smiles/grin/point/laugh-
me: ... *facepalm*

Ellie won and we had free food. Again. I feel guilty spending her money because SHE DOESN'T KNOW WHO I AM. Another senior arrived blah blah blah (I'm going to skip this part because) and we got bored so we went to Kent's place to do 'homework'. I knew it was impossible. IMPOSSIBLE I say. We ended slacking off and wasted an hour there. I blame the one who got attached to the Xbox.

One more thing, I get nervous+afraid+anxious when I sit in a car alone with someone else's parent. Please never do that to me again. Luckily, the one I had that day was surprisingly pleasant. It was nice. 

TODAY//SATURDAY

I am in love. With LOMO cameras. I need one right now. So badly. SO VERY BAD.

I'm going to dream about you baby, just you wait. JUST YOU WAIT. 
Why am I suddenly interested in these kind of things? Well, you can thank my cousin for showing off his LOMO, it itched me so much that I started googling about it. I asked my mom and I think she said yes, she did not oppose and my dad kept quiet so, I might just get a chance :3 I'm not very good with cameras so I decided to start with a basic and cheap one. I can't decide between LOMO HOLGA 135BC or LOMO HOLGA 120GCFN and I don't really care as long as I can them in this color. This is going to be my first camera if I can actually have it. But I do need opinion so what do you guys think?

sorry for the crappy post. ;A; oh btw, I changed the font size so you guys can read better :3

• 
  

Dust consists of particles in the atmosphere that come from various sources such as soil dust lifted by wind (an Aeolian process), volcanic eruptions, and pollution. Dust in homes, offices, and other human environments contains small amounts of plant pollen, human and animal hairs, textile fibers, paper fibers, minerals from outdoor soil, human skin cells, burnt meteorite particles and many other materials which may be found in the local environment.(Copied from wiki oh so shamelessly.)

Dust, I got lots of them. You're probably wondering why I kept them all and the answer is MY ROOM.
No one has ever been to my room before, even my parents are not allowed to be inside when it's in its worst conditions. Of course I would clean my room whenever my friends come over, well except for Huang.(if i feel like it or else i would just lock the freaking door and make them try to break it down.) I've been to so many other rooms(especially guys) and my room looks like a pig's nest. ( you said that yourself audrey so don't go blaming on other people. EXCEPT your sister.)
Took a break after doing 7 keratan akhbar for PA and I fell asleep on the cold cold floor while it poured outside, wind was blowing like there's not tomorrow, and it was the perfect weather for an afternoon nap and I snatched it, I slept for almost 2 hours aaahhhh. Got up and nudged my sister and went off to clean my room.
A lot of work had to be done and I probably sneezed more than 8 times during the cleaning, my throat was itchy and so was my face, I was scratching all over and when I looked into the mirror, HOLY SH-
My face, red spots all over my face and that's when I knew I was ready for a freaking bath. My neck was itchy again, just like that last day in camp. My nails are pretty long and left scratch marks all over my face. I took a bath, applied minty soap onto my face and it was still itchy. What I'm about to write is stupid but I actually did it, I applied toothpaste onto my face and my neck. It was spicy but it helped, the red spots are gone and now I look AUDREY again. That's all about Audrey's cleaning session.

This afternoon, we were walking and walking and I saw this uncle standing over there staring at my mom and my sister. My instincts directly tells me that 'OH MY GOD another ham sap UNCLE' We got nearer and my mom was like 'EH I DIDN'T SEE YOU THERE OH?' and they started talking blah blah blah.
The so call 'HAM SAP UNCLE' then turned to Beavan, Stephenie and I and..
HSU: Eh? Your children ah? Who's the oldest.
mom: -points- this one loh.
me: -smiles like an angel- (FYI, I don't usually smile okay? I only do it when I think the other person is worthy of being polite to)
HSU: -turns to sister- oh so you're second ah?
sis: -nods-
HSU: -thumbs up- LIANG MOI OH.
me: -in mind- 'hi. not pretty sister standing right here.'
sis: -smiles and turnes to me while rolling her eyes-
HSU: -turns to bro while riffling bro's hair- WAH YOU ALSO VERY LIANG ZHAI OH
me: -still in mind- MOM why did you gave birth to an ugly kid like me? -SULKS-
HSU-Ham Sap Uncle

MEH, I probably should get use to this. It's not like it's the first time or anything, it happened so many times I just lost count. Enough about this. It's ruining my mood and my life. I hate being compared. Seriously. STAHP. Just so you know, I'm fighting the urge to spill tears right now.

BACK TO YESTERDAY. LAST DAY OF MAY. 

Mom made Lasagna. Here are pictures. (Sorry bah, just don't have the mood to keep writing anymore. So I let pictures entertain you. AT LEAST THEY ARE PRETTIER THAN ME.)

HEN FEI OH CHI ZHE GE.

Oh and this Caramel pudding :D

end, I'll remember you HSU. I can't believe I thought you were worthy of my politeness.