#busty

Okay this is basically me today. I was going to write a post about this a long long time ago but I never realy got the chance to so since I'm tired of doing my Physics experiments I thought I'd do a little update about yeah, boobs. See how happy that girl looked when she found other busty girls? Well, I'm not like that. I actually get kind of scared when I see people with bigger boobs then mine. Reasons you say? well...
1. I think I have huge boobs so when I see bigger ones, I just. I can't imagine how they carry those around and how they deal with them wtf. I have problems with mine so I'm sure they are going to have problems with theirs too.

Now I will show you some busty girl problems//perks by rampaige and tell you how I relate.

This is me. Most of the time. It's really hard to find the perfect clothing. Well not that one actually exist but it's really hard to look good in oversized clothing. I'm not the thinnest person out there and huge boobs, they make you look even fatter. I mean like seriously. I'd like to avoid huge clothing but I love wearing them, it is so comfortable but at the same time i want to look nice. I'd have problem picking an outfit every single time. maybe this is just me, I mean I'm picky by nature. I usually go for the oversize clothing though coz I just can't concentrate on anything else if I'm too self conscious about how I look.


Evil boobs. This is what happens when you have heavy stuff sticking out of your chest. It's not easy carrying them around. Not easy playing basketball with these. This is why I don't usually run. I just wait under the net. Ahh bra marks. Would you have believed me if I told you I don't have those? Well ding dong I do but they go away overnight so I guess it's not such a big problem.

 
ME. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I mean why can't they just provide a bigger size? WHY WHY WHY? I can't count how many bras I've seen and want but can't because they just don't have my size. People get to choose the style while I have to choose by size. NOT FAIR. The smaller bras are always much prettier. The big ones are usually really expensive too. I wonder how much money my parents spent on my bras. Just my bras for these past few years.


Weehee finally one good thing about these things. I mean everytime I'm in the library and I'm cold. I secrectly do this. No one will ever know muahahaha. Well unless my readers don't spread then I guess - wait wtf. What am I saying?


So yeah. Anyone. Any gender? If you ever need a shoulder to cry on. I'm right here. Just ask and I'll lend you a boob or two to cry on. Of course you're going to have to give me something to dry myself with after. Miss Speaker must really feel this way. I get random hugs from her all the time. Can't say I hate it but can't say I love it too. However, it is still very pleasant to be cuddled :)


This. I don't know. I feel unsafe. I feel like I'm going to die early because of them. I mean I know if I take precautions and go for check ups, I won't die but there's still that paranoid feeling I have. I mean I guess it's kind of a good thing that it increases my awareness, it means I'm going to take extra care of them. But seriously? Don't busty girls have a higher risk of getting breast cancer?


aaaaawwwww. Miss Scorpio. Mr Bear Cat. This is for you. Well maybe a little to Miss Angel and also Mr Freedom. We do have boob talk sometimes don't we? Especially you. Yes. YOU.

 
Yeah. you have no idea how hard it is to look for a dress that is PERF. If the dress doesn't go through my boobs. It does not go through anything. I can try on 30++ of dresses in a day and I can safely say that I might only fit 5 of them and I might not even like them but I can only choose from the five of them so I am very frustrated about my prom dress. I don't even know what to wear I- just. I know I have a huge frame and I was made fun of a lot when I was younger. I tried. My frame is just big. I can't do anything about my bone structures. They just won't shrink. I mean I know people are just joking when they say I'm big or stuff and I know I should just dismiss it but a part of me just can't help but feel offended. I'm sorry.


Miss Jay. If you see this. Happy times during basketball and netball practice.


Yeah. This must happen a lot huh? I wouldn't possibly know. I mean there are the ups and downs. I mean just be yourself. Your boobs don't define you. However, I define boobs.


I guess. I do love my boobs :)

#blue thoughts

it's funny how sometimes the most random people can say the sweetest things and how the important ones just end up hurting you every time. Well maybe, it's because they are important, their opinions matter, every little thing they do matter. today someone said something that made me feel good about myself. I mean I always have Miss Scorpio, Mr Bear Cat and my fifits for that but this time it's totally out of the blue and i wasn't even expecting it. AT ALL. i have feeling that he might not even know how his words really made me happy, he said it so nonchalantly and it sounded sincere, NOT a hint of insecurity or doubt in it. Well, knowing me, I'm going to say something like... 'urm maybe he didn't really mean it.' or 'don't think so much lah, he was just trying to be nice.' and stuff like that. I tell you I can go on and on about small things like this. Look, if you think I might have special feelings for this someone. Please snap out of it. When I write something like this about someone, it doesn't have to mean that I want in his pants. He is a very fun and nice guy though and he is good company. okay let's put that really really random thought aside.

what I really should talk about right now is about the 'transfer duty' which is the direct translation from the malay phrase. Gee  please forgive me, I'm really tired. I was nervous the whole day, I think I was partially scared too. It felt like I'm going to lose everything and that the library I worked so hard on is going to be passed on to someone I don't really know. What if he/she makes a mess out of things? What if I hand it over to someone who isn't worthy? I remember Mr Bear Cat leaving the library to me, I did my best, I really did. Seriously, I am given too much credit. Truth is, the other AJKs work the butts off just as much as I do or heck maybe even more but I am the one who gets the extra mark. Yes I feel very guilty but no one is suppose to find out about it. The 'transfer duty' HAHA went okay I think .Just that I think I might gone overboard with a lower six, I'm pretty sure he hates me now. I wouldn't be surprise he wouldn't want to talk to me again for the rest of the year. If he ever reads this. I'm going to leave a little note here. 

Mr Playful, I'm sorry if you think I'm picking on you. I'm sorry if you think I'm only mean to you. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings but know that I think well of you. Okay maybe you did gave me a bad impression when you were all whiny when I asked you to do stuff but I also understand that you worry about your studies. That's why you are very reluctant to join anything. I bully people I like. You should know that. Well I don't 'like' like you. I just mean I like you as a friend or maybe a little brother. You make my day sometimes when you wave or smile at me. I really hope you don't stop doing those and I'm going to stop treating you and the other juniors like crap now that I'm NOT your president anymore. I'm your friend. 

I guess the new President is trustworthy. The way he stood in front and told the whole class how he wants to be the next president proudly. I admired that courage, I could have never done that so I guess that's why he got my vote. I hope he'll hold on. I know it's hard sometimes but I know he'll get through it because he has 20 subordinates. Well as for me, I had 14 minions! -laughs- okay I did not mean to offend anyone okay? it was a joke. I just realized that today was the last time all of us PSS would be able to stand in front of the whole class like that. It felt nice. We felt like a team. It reminded me of the times we were asked to do impossible things and we puled through, the times I throw a freaking tantrum because we were always given last minute jobs! The times we joked around the round table in the library. All of that is coming to an end. It makes me really sad but also proud because I was apart of all those beautiful things, all these beautiful people. You guys are my heroes. Also I'm going to have to asked those who nicknamed me Miss President to start looking for a new one*wink* I'm not the one ruling your asses anymore. 

So much to do, So little time.

'we kissed, 

I fell under your spell.

a love,

no one can deny.'

okay that wasn't suppose to mean anything.

#september

September. My favorite month of the year. I'm pretty sure you can guess why and I am not shy to admit so too. It's the month of the year when my mom gave birth to her first baby 19 years ago. I'm sure she still remembers it like it was just yesterday. Even though I'm a horrible daughter to have, i lose my temper all the time, i raise my voice all the time, but she still loves me and i admit that i will always love her too. This is what comes out of me when i blog at night. Sentimental stuff, not usually my style. I guess I'm going to bombard you guys with some virgo facts and tell you if i can relate or not just to cut out all the sentimental shit i wrote.

' Virgo women are the suffer in silence type. They internalise a lot of hurt feelings and stress because they don't like to burden others'

Sorry to say this but it's NOT true. I mean maybe the not wanting to burden others is true, i don't like asking for favours because i don't know. i'm pretty sure everyone else has better things to do though this does not apply to my family members. I like relying on them, sometimes way too much but when it comes to my friends, i would think twice before asking them for help. Yes back to the suffer in silence type. HAHAHA. There's just no way Audrey can keep things to herself. I tell everyone everything. Well things about me of course, I have no problem expressing myself. I do it quite frequently too. It doesn't matter where I am or what time it is, I can always talk. Well, maybe not to everyone, just those who i know would really listen and actually have something nice to say afterwards. Woah don't get it the wrong way, I don't want people to tell me what I want to hear. I want the truth even if it's ugly. Note that. I like honest and straightforward people so don't beat around the bush because that pisses me off. You want something. Say it to my face. Or my hand. It works either way.

'If your girlfriend ain't a Virgo. I feel bad for you son.'

Okay actually. If your girlfriend was a virgo, I'd feel bad for you. You would have to deal with constant mood swings, yelling, coldness, mushiness, accusation, reassurance, and a whole of ugly stuff. Being the insecure people we are, this is what happens. You will hear constant "do you really love me?" "why do you love me" "what is it that you love about me" or even maybe "i hate you don't talk to me you piss me off don't text me don't you dare call me i'm breaking up with you this is over i don't ever want to see you again shut up eff off go away..." and that's only 16% of everything. But of course, it doesn't apply to everyone okay? I'm just saying this base on my experience :) HAHA 

'A virgo woman likes to work alone.'

Well its not that i like to work alone, it's just that i get things done faster alone. I am way more productive when i'm on my own because obviously there isn't anyone there for me to distract. Also one thing about myself is that I am a great distraction and i don't even have to try. Top reason why i never go study with my friends when they ask me to, I go there and all of us will end up with nothing but empty chat and laughter. The truth is I like working with people, I like how they give opinions and reactions or ideas which i can learn from. Maybe sometimes I can't take criticisms but all the time i am trying to accept everyone's opinion even if i don't like them. Accepting everyone's opinion is actually a hard thing for me however the irony is that i am easily influenced. I go with any plan as long as everyone is pleased with it. 

'Virgo women are extremely precise. We know exactly what we want, but we like things to be perfect. That is why we are fussy.'

Surprisingly true. I always think of myself as someone who would just go with the flow but truth is when i let someone take over and he/she does the opposite of what i want. I have the urge to punch them in the face. I can't help it. It's just Virgo logic. I do like things to be perfect. I spend a lot of time in my head thinking about the perfect things that would happen in everyday life but of course they seldom do. It however does keep me from falling asleep during maths so keep in mind that whenever i'm not asleep during maths. I am actually day dreaming while still keeping a straight face as if i'm listening to the teacher. Fussy. I guess fussy is my middle name. I see something out of place, i flinch. This does not really make me a very organize person. My room is a horrible mess, clothes everywhere, books piled up everywhere. Junk everywhere. Okay I think you have a very precise picture of how my room would look like. So call me when you're heading over, preferably 3 days before you come. Thank you.

'Virgos can sometimes come off as harsh but they have the best intentions.'

Yes, I apologize to anyone I've offended but I really really didn't mean them. I don't like conflict. I tend to avoid them (maybe not when I'm on my period) because fighting someone is very tiring. I can't sleep knowing somewhere out there, someone wants to grab a knife and stab me at night. I shy off whenever someone picks a fight (a real one) not because i'm a coward, simply because i don't want to make things worst. To be honest, I don't want to get myself involve in so many emotional things but it's fairly interesting so I keep getting myself hunched. I do have the best intentions. When I say something offensive to someone, it's probably because i wanted to make someone laugh and it means a lot to me that someone actually laughs at my jokes even though they all involve human anatomy. When I say something sarcastic it's usually because I want you to realize what you're doing it is upsetting me so that you actually stop before i smack your face. 

I would really love to go through some more but I am dead tired and a bug just flew straight into my face. I'm going to have to end this banana cookies baking session right here. 

'cause you are the piece of me I wish I didn't need,

chasing relentlessly still fight and i don't know why'

#bananacookies

changed my link. changed my background. changed my username. changed my picture. because i just noticed how ugly they used to be wtf. and also i feel like reducing my stalkers. i'm sorry i'm blogging so much this week. i'll try not to blog so much. i just feel like filling my new background with some words. i guess i'll talk about the library this time. how clueless i was when i was selected as president around this time a year ago. votes were done. decisions are made. hands were shook. then BAM. you get a shitload of responsibilities. i know it's not like it's all that being the head of the library, i mean people assume that you only have to arrange books, borrow and return books, clean the shelves and stuff and maybe yes that's pretty much all we do but things aren't that easy. how would feel having to arrange the books every time and come back to only find another whole pile of mess. you won't get to fret. you won't get to complain. you can't get mad (and we all that's just impossible for Audrey). the new form 6 system is really giving us a hard time. No, i'm not going to complain about form 6 being SO hard because i'm practically immune to the whole thing. it's just that it does reduce the time we have to actually organized some activities for the library, i personally have a lot of things i would like to do with the library, but the teacher usually cockblocks me or i just don't have the determination or time to actually start. here i am sitting, thinking back about all the things my comrades and i have done for the library. it's truly something i will always remember for the rest of my life. it's the thing how i know i can just rely on them and that they can depend on me. it puts me at ease to work with these wonderful people because they do a great job at anything i throw at them. whenever i have a problem. i grab some of them and *drum rolls* the problem just automatically solves itself. i'm writing this because it's almost time for all of us to retire. i would like to thank everyone of the AJKs for all their hardwork. Miss Principal, always always on time with the merit marks. always always there to arrange the books neatly. Miss Enlighten, always ready to stay back or come back on a Saturday to help out, always open to suggestions and always ready to lend a hand. Miss Angel. Thank you for taking care of our money. thank you for doing all the accounts. thank you for being such an awesome promoter too. i need to thank you for selling all of the bookmarks the library made :) we wouldn't have done it without you.  Not forgetting Mr we-have-the-same-bday. Thank you so much for putting up with our gossips and moodswings, thank you so much for arranging the books when no one else wants to do it, thank you so much for all the jokes you make to try and cheer me up. it means a lot to me and to the girls :) Miss Snow White, i remember the gorgeous cards you made during Family Reading Day. Miss psyduck and all her cute gestures, i must thank you for you creativeness. we wouldn't have been able to put that head up on that backdrop if it wasn't for you ;) Miss Scorpio, for always typing all the stuff i don't want to, for always jotting down everything i say during meetings, always doings so MORE than you should, always coming back on a saturday to help even though you live on the other side of the planet, always reducing my burdens. Miss Banana, always coming into the library without a card because the discipline unit never gave you yours. Miss CC, for always giving me advice, always asking me if i need help. thank you. Now that our days as Library committee members are coming to an end, let's rejoice on our soon to be freedom :)

'So I'm wishing, wishing further

For the excitement to arrive'

#carrot-bunny

i think it's probably time i do some serious blogging. so here it goes.

life is beautiful. so many things left unsaid. so many things to discover. so many places you wish to go. so many things you wish to do. so many people you'd like to meet and of course, tones choices of people you could spend your whole life with. so little time.

you might be going through a storm now but everyone knows that a rainbow is what you'll see after. you might feel like jumping off a cliff but i guarantee you that you're going to regret it when you're already flying through the free fall. you might feel like you're drifting away and no one seems to notice but i swear that someone is going to pull you back because they care enough. you might feel like things are just better left unsaid but one day it will come back and haunt you. you might feel like being brave takes up too much courage but enduring it will take up even more.

sometimes it's just better to be frank. sometimes it's better to just express yourself. sometimes it's just better to make people understand how you feel. sometimes it's just better to break down the wall. sometimes it's just better to be truthful, truthful to yourself. it's good to avoid conflict. it's good to avoid heartbreak. but how is it that you grow from the mistakes if you avoid all the hardships in life. it's okay to be afraid. it's okay to feel insecure. it's okay to break down. it's okay to cry. it's okay if you need something to lean on. it's okay if that person has to be me. i'm right here. whether you like it or not.

i find you intriguing as you find my imagination to be. i find you radiant with that personality of yours. i like the way you laugh at all my pointless carrot-bunny jokes. i like how things just goes so well whenever you're around. i like the way you listen and actually empathize with me. i like how you trust me so much because you put all your faith in me. i like how you depend on me and i'd like you to keep doing that whenever you feel like it. you're not alone. i don't want to let you go through this alone. because i want to be the one who's going to pull you back when you drift far far away and if that doesn't work. i'll drift away with you.

'i said can you give it back to me? 

he said never in your wildest dreams.'

#hee

i have terrible terrible mood swings. I cannot count how many times i've went "UGH!" to "YAY~" and then to "GAH!" and back to "AWW~" and the process goes on and on. I can't control these things. They just come and go and if i don't express myself and keep things like this bottle up. One, I would either EXPLODE. Two, I would break down and GROSS sob in front of everyone. It happened a few times now. I haven't got there yet this year and I have my friends to thank ( you know who you are ). I don't know why i fan girl over younger guys, I DON'T KNOW. I don't want to actually but I just cannot help it. I see a cute guy, I have to swoon whether i show it or not. IT happens. Last week had been a stressful week and  i have a feeling it's not going to end soon. I am really frustrated but at the same time happy because that's just me. Take it or leave it. I hope these PBS are over with quickly. I hope these experiments are over with fast. I wish the remaining time we have together would just slow down a little, so that i can take a second to actually wonder about the whys and whens and of course all the what ifs. Okay. back to stressful life. See ya.

# ponytails

Hi there. My name is Audrey. I do wonder what my mom would name me if I was a male. She'd probably give me my little brother's name. OMG nvm. Yes yes, here i am again back with a if i were a boy post. The last one I did was kinda boring if you ask me. It's just paragraphs about how my life would be better if i didn't have boobs. Well life is better if you have smaller boobs. you have no idea how much effort it takes to carry these things around. I swear. I can never keep a straight blog. HAHA i just made a straight joke. Get it? You don't? Really? Okay. Fine. Putting my boobs aside. I'm going to relate being a boy to some of my classmates. I hope I don't offend anyone but if i do, I'm not really sorry.

Well personally, I think Mr BF and I would still be best friend even if I was the opposite gender. Maybe I'd bully him a lot when we were younger but I'll eventually see the 'good' in him and we became the best of friends. HAHA NO. If I were a boy, I'd probably be cool with all the guys. Mr BF and I would be friends but I'm not sure if we'll get to the best friend part. Let me know if you think we would? ;) I'd probably still be a fifit member? PRETTY PLEASE. Very unlikely though. I'm pretty sure Miss iiyee might hate my guts and Miss Moley might think I'm annoying as eff. However, we still get along and they might give me a chance and let me join their chemistry group or maybe physics... Talking about Physics, Mr Bestah would probably be my buddy. We would probably gather all the boys and play ball sometimes. I'd probably be his favorite male student and Miss Jay could be the favorite female student. Speaking of Miss Jay, I'd probably never be able to touch her boobies and have her chase me to take a slam at mine but I think Miss Jay and I would still get along fine. We can still sing duets when we're bored in class or when we want to annoy the hell out of people. She will and probably always be my Karoke partner. Miss Angel, I'd probably play with her a lot. Ruffle her hair sometimes and make her pinch me real hard while i act all tough saying it doesn't hurt but the truth is it felt like she was kicking my nuts. I'm going to talk about the guys in my class first coz there's like only 10 of them. Mr Naruto and Mr Bean. The two guys that isolates themselves and have the front seats. I'd probably have a good time talking anime with these two, they make everything seem interesting. Mr Naruto might say some foul words sometimes, HECK I'm probably going to join him and Mr Bean always say something totally random out of the blue and it makes everyone laugh. Moving on to Mr Freedom, once again I will officially apologize on my blog by almost giving you diabetes mellitus type II. I'd probably enjoy Mr Freedom's company, he talks anime, books and songs. He can be my male duet partner and we can sing all day long and not worrying about if my notes are too high for him to sing along to. Coz you know, we're both guys and yeah we have the same frequency? Mr Tall would totally be my basketball buddy! Mr Jaesuk will probably tag along, we would talk about girls all day. Talking about how the juniors are really pretty this year and tease each other about it too. Mr F,  Mr we-have-the-same-bday and I would probably enjoy some alone time talking about 'stuff' hmmm HAHAHA I'm sure you can guess. Then there's Mr Soccer and Mr Fencing, well we could go yamcha, play ball, urm catch a movie? I'm pretty sure we can work something out. Of course not forgetting Mr Key. Oh boy this guy right here would probably be my gay partner whenever i need to shake off some girl. I'd hang around him and pretend that i'm interested just to chase girls away because Mr Key wouldn't even mind. He's awesome like that ;) Miss Enlighten would probably be afraid of me because I'm like super scary. I'd probably be afraid of Miss Principle. And to all the other girls, they'd probably think I'm BIG pervert. Special dedication goes to this one girl. Miss Scorpio. I emphasize on the horoscope is because it's all we ever relate things with! Miss Scorpio would be that girl who would sing all the Taylor Swift songs I love. She'd probably be my girl best friend. I would like how she over reacts sometimes whenever I try to blow her face and she would work for me MUAHAHA because she is my secretary. Like literally. Library stuff. (WOAH I'd be Mr President then X3) We would spend a lot of time together and I would probably take her to prom( well only if she wants to). We would gossip a lot at the round table even though i'm a guy and a lot people would think that i was dating her. She makes you feel better whenever you feel like dumping your face into a toilet bowl. Things will always be 1238 times more interesting when she is around.

Yes that is all for now. I'm going to leave for tuition in like 3 more minutes so.
Bye :)