Monday, July 22, 2013

#all i know is a simple name

everything has changed.
nah.
i'm kidding.
nothing much changed.
perhaps maybe just a little bit.

rose are red,
violets are blue.
bears are attracted to honey,
the same as i am to you.

there's this one guy i've known for almost 7 years.
our first meeting is somewhere in the back of my mind.
i don't remember.
the only sharp memory i had about him is being the short nerdy looking guy who got bullied a lot during our junior years. We were actually in the same class and i completely ignored his existence. Sorry he didn't stand out too much and i'm only 13! the only things i paid attention to are bad boys and hot seniors. i remember him looking super smart one day during geography and i instantly hated him. I hate it when people are better than me. Yes that is how horrible i am. Noted? Yes? Good, one time we were having a brief conversation under some trees near the teacher's parking lot. I d k but i've probably had a short fuse ever since primary 3 because of reasons. This guy with the initials A.M is my nemesis, but we grew out of it and i guess we can still consider ourselves friends. A.M would never shut up about how i have a crush on his brother D.M even though I DON'T so we fight all the time. with fists and grades and more fists. i believe i have always been this aggressive to my classmates. Back to out main path. Somehow short nerdy looking guy managed to bring me out of my shell, i used my viking powered hands and smack him several times 'everywhere'. i was only putting 40% of my effort into use and he was already crying. he cried and cried and things would be really ugly if the teacher found out. I had to think fast so I humbly offered him ice cream. I was sure that it was going to cheer him up, i was sure that he would stop crying. But little did i know he curved his lips into a sinister smile and that was all it took to set my hands on slapping mode again. Well this is only the beginning of our friendship. Who would ever thought that Mr Short Nerdy Looking guy would be such an important piece in my life now?

He grew taller, I can no longer point my fingers down at him. He grew stronger and now i can't bully him that much. Remember how girls are always asking for a guy best friend? Well let me tell you girls something :)
I actually have one. 
Now go sulk in a corner if you must. this guy calls himself my best friend or so he claims to be but he doesn't understand my mood swings, my reactions and even my decisions. We fight all the time over the stupidest things and we annoy the hell out of each other when we want to. This guy right here brings the worst out of me and it drives me crazy. I am all about reputation, all about appearance. if you can't be pretty, you should at least look presentable and cool. But with this guy, I will always. ALWAYS lose my cool. Even so,  there's no other guy who i can act completely myself with. I can always go all PMS on him and he would take it like a man. I can always go through his things and even if he did mind, he would just keep quiet about it. I can always go to him through every ups and downs because he listens and give his honest opinion on everything even if it's all ugly. I can ruffle his hair and grab his glasses and he would just stare into space. I can unbutton his shirt and have him actually trying to do the same to me! We can perform osmosis on each other. We can wear each others shoes. I can go through his wardrobe but he can't go through mine. We can talk about porn, homework, hot people, porn and of course 'stuff'. He makes me update my blog whenever he has the time, he updates his blog with a lot of paragraphs and NO pictures at all. He thinks rocks make good pets. He likes glasses. He likes fringes. He likes 'bubbles'. He likes to sing. He likes to sleep. He's a scorpio and of course. People often mistaken this wonderful guy for my boyfriend. How wrong can they get? I know I've never officially told anyone but this guy right here is my BF AKA Best Friend and i don't think that's going to change for many more years to come. ;)


your domo shirt has got to go.
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Sunday, July 14, 2013

#hashtag

today has not been a pleasant day for me. there's just so many things i'm worried about. i'm also really disappointed and mad at myself for not being able to discipline myself. i'm NOT doing anything i planned for myself on weekends. I'm actually procrastinating and NOT doing anything to improve my homework. I can't believe I find anime and books a priority comparing to SO many other things i should be doing. I was having a real good day yesterday too. it's surprising how much a day can flush your good mood down the gutter. and to add salt to the wound. Glee Cast Cory Monteith passed away and he's only 31! The first thing that ran into my mind was Lea, Leas Michele, I can't begin to imagine the look on her face, the pain in her chest when she received the news. Thinking about it tears me up and i wish i was only centimeters away SO i can bear hug her. Cory was a beautiful man, sure he had some problems but he's only human. I couldn't even bring myself to think about what's next for Glee? It's so heartbreaking. The whole thing made me think about the horror of losing someone, the pain, the longing. I can't bear with it. I've never had actually and I don't want to ever. I know it's not possible but, God help me, I don't ever want to be in that kind of situation. The thought of it is terrifying it makes me want to cry. well, that's not the end yet, i still have to tell you guys about how crappy my semester 2 result will be, it's going to be out tonight, midnight. words can't describe how i feel at the moment, i feel like i've been bombarded with BAD news the whole day and something gives me the feeling that I'm about to receive more. I did really badly on the second semester. I studied really hard, I am not going to deny it. I worked my butt out last semester and then i got sick on the first day of the actual exam. FML. at first i wasn't feeling all too bad about it but now that i think of it and how it might have affected my answering, i feel like ripping my own throat out. this education fair we had really got me thinking and we all know where thinking too much gets me. -roars- i'm seriously freaking out right now, my stomach is doing flips. i'm already in a horrible mood, i don't need mr D and mrs M to make it worst for me, you guys could have picked another day to yell at each other. i thought things were going to be different, i thought things will get better and that things will change. i'm not saying that it has to go back to the way it was, but i seriously thought that it would get better. i guess i was wrong.

you guys didn't have to read this. it's crap. sorry.
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