#hashtag

today has not been a pleasant day for me. there's just so many things i'm worried about. i'm also really disappointed and mad at myself for not being able to discipline myself. i'm NOT doing anything i planned for myself on weekends. I'm actually procrastinating and NOT doing anything to improve my homework. I can't believe I find anime and books a priority comparing to SO many other things i should be doing. I was having a real good day yesterday too. it's surprising how much a day can flush your good mood down the gutter. and to add salt to the wound. Glee Cast Cory Monteith passed away and he's only 31! The first thing that ran into my mind was Lea, Leas Michele, I can't begin to imagine the look on her face, the pain in her chest when she received the news. Thinking about it tears me up and i wish i was only centimeters away SO i can bear hug her. Cory was a beautiful man, sure he had some problems but he's only human. I couldn't even bring myself to think about what's next for Glee? It's so heartbreaking. The whole thing made me think about the horror of losing someone, the pain, the longing. I can't bear with it. I've never had actually and I don't want to ever. I know it's not possible but, God help me, I don't ever want to be in that kind of situation. The thought of it is terrifying it makes me want to cry. well, that's not the end yet, i still have to tell you guys about how crappy my semester 2 result will be, it's going to be out tonight, midnight. words can't describe how i feel at the moment, i feel like i've been bombarded with BAD news the whole day and something gives me the feeling that I'm about to receive more. I did really badly on the second semester. I studied really hard, I am not going to deny it. I worked my butt out last semester and then i got sick on the first day of the actual exam. FML. at first i wasn't feeling all too bad about it but now that i think of it and how it might have affected my answering, i feel like ripping my own throat out. this education fair we had really got me thinking and we all know where thinking too much gets me. -roars- i'm seriously freaking out right now, my stomach is doing flips. i'm already in a horrible mood, i don't need mr D and mrs M to make it worst for me, you guys could have picked another day to yell at each other. i thought things were going to be different, i thought things will get better and that things will change. i'm not saying that it has to go back to the way it was, but i seriously thought that it would get better. i guess i was wrong.

you guys didn't have to read this. it's crap. sorry.