#rosesareblue

I know I shouldn't be doing any updates yet. Why? I still have papers to sit for that's why? However, I just feel like writing this down so I'll remember it forever. I don't even know why? I don't know if it's appropriate either. I'd like to write this to my hero. One can have many heroes but this man right here will forever be my number 1. Dearest Mr Hero, I know we aren't close like how we should be and I kind of understand that you are a man of not so many words either. You look fierce and seldom show any sign of tenderness but I know deep down inside, way deep down. I am your little girl. Well I'm not daddy's little girl though I kind of wish I was, you know being able to run to your daddy whenever things get rough. These 19 years pass by so quickly and I can now have a chance to reflect on the things I did, the things we used to do when I was younger. I know you're the 'you have to make it through alone' kind of guy and you kind of let me grew up in that kind of situation. I never really get to run to you when things get rough and I know you never really had a chance to do so with yours to because he died young but it's okay because you made me a stronger a person. A person that does not have to rely on people to get things done. Death. The most horrifying word. No, I'm not afraid of dying. I'm afraid of other people dying. I am afraid of being left behind. Be it an animal or a person, it breaks my heart to think that their families are being left behind. The worst feeling, the feeling of being left behind. Oh, no. You've never left me behind. You waited for me, waited for me to grow. Patiently, you watched me blossom. You always worked behind the scenes, you always want to seem strong. You always want to give people the feeling that you are reliable. Guess I got that from you. I know you're strong, on the outside, maybe on in the inside too. But I want to protect you, I want to take care of you too. It's going to be my turn and you're going to have to let me. I want to tell you things, I really do but I don't want to burden you with any more useless crap you have to deal with. I want to ask you stuff, I want to you to take care of yourself, I want you to just relax but I can't bring myself to say it. I'm sure no one should have this much trouble but I do and I feel guilty. I am afraid of awkwardness. I am afraid that I might seem different. I am afraid that you think I am deserting you. I am not. I will not. I will never. Don't be afraid to rely on me. You deserve to rely on me. Like I always have relied on you. Quietly. I love you.