in between.

have you ever feel like you're in the middle. 

a tool people used to communicate to each other with.

just because they can't talk face to face anymore.

and there's you.

standing in the middle.

you can't pick a side.

because you love them both dearly.

you can't ignore both of them.

because you just can't stand watching them like that.

you want everything to go back to the way they used to be.

to the time when everyone was happy.

back when you were still all coco crunch and jelly beans.

back when life was always easy.

back when you wouldn't hesitate to ask them for help.

back when you still believed in love.

i want to go back...

that feeling you get when you just can't choose.

the feeling you get when you try so hard to drown it inside of you.

so that no one will ever find out.

so that no one would look at you with pity eyes.

i don't want pity. i don't need it.

i just don't understand how life can take such a huge turn.

and leave me here in the middle.

i'm lucky i wasn't forced to make a choice.

but who's to say that i won't have to in the future.

who's to say that things will be alright.

things will get better and that things will be back to normal.

and yet who's to say that things might get worst. 

we just don't know. 

i just don't know.

but i desperately want to.

why me?

seriously.

why couldn't it be someone else?

someone who is perhaps stronger?

or someone who just doesn't fucking give a damn?

why did it have to be me?

is it bad that i complain about these kind of things?

am i not allowed to complain?

i've been holding it in for so long.

it tears me up just thinking about all the times i tried to forget.

but i wake up everyday with the same problems still unresolved.

i hate seeing them like that.

i hate seeing how they treat each other.

i hate the way they talk to each other.

two lifeless souls communicating.

and that's where i step in.

being vulnerable is not an option.

weaknesses are no good in battle.

yelling at each other won't anyone any good.

especially not to those who have a weak soul.

i beg of you.

both of you.

don't make this any harder on me.

it's really hard to please both side.

it's really hard standing in the middle.

it's exhausting actually.

i understand that things are not that easy

and that things do not always go as plan.

but when both of you have the same objective,

which i doubt you do.

nothing is impossible.

you just need to sit down,

look each other in the eyes and speak.

yes speak, not yell. 

yell if you must, 

but look around for any vulnerable souls.

they might be strongly affected.

or permanently scarred.