9 days til the real deal.
And I'm here. Doing nothing productive.
I feel so lazy but yet I don't want to flunk.
I lost all will to study now and I'm desperately trying to get it back.
I know I'll regret it if I don't study but part of me just won't let me study.
Speaking of regrets.
I'm not sure if re-checking my MUET was a good idea or not.
I need only 3 more marks to get to band 4, 3 more stinking marks.
Everyone else was crazy about retaking and re-checking and there I was.
Standing in the middle again.
Dammn why do I always end up in the middle.
You know why?
Because I am indecisive.
I can't make my own decisions.
I need opinions and these opinions often leaves me even more doubtful than I already was.
In the end.
I decided to re-check anyways. I mean I've got nothing to lose right?
I guess it's better to regret something you did than regretting over something you didn't.
I have balls! So I did it. I just hope, it was worth it.
I'm staring into space most of the time.
I'm holding my book, grabbing my pen but nothing goes in.
Rather, more things tend to come out... from my mouth.
I can never study with friends.
It wouldn't be studying if I'm around.
I like to talk a lot and I tend to distract other people in the process.
Which is always the reason why I turn my friends down when they asked me to go study with them.
I like studying alone but I don't like to be lonely.
I hate it when people make noise in the library.
It'll make me feel and look bad if I don't do anything about it.
Look bad part is when I don't do anything.
Feel bad part is when I scold the other younger kids.
Today I sarcastically but politely asked some lower form kids to shut up because they seriously treated the library like it was a playground. They nod and urged their friends to shut up and then the next three minutes, they're at it again. I got really pissed. I mean I did say to shut the eff up didn't I?
Also, a simple fact about our school. Well maybe not our school but out librarians.
Did you know?
That the percentage of librarians in our school is 2.5% out of the whole student body?
Did you know?
That the kids in our school likes to borrow books from the library and make a big FAT mess out of everything.
Did they know?
That only 2.5% of them has to arrange all their mess for them.
Well, now you know.
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