#busty

Okay this is basically me today. I was going to write a post about this a long long time ago but I never realy got the chance to so since I'm tired of doing my Physics experiments I thought I'd do a little update about yeah, boobs. See how happy that girl looked when she found other busty girls? Well, I'm not like that. I actually get kind of scared when I see people with bigger boobs then mine. Reasons you say? well...
1. I think I have huge boobs so when I see bigger ones, I just. I can't imagine how they carry those around and how they deal with them wtf. I have problems with mine so I'm sure they are going to have problems with theirs too.

Now I will show you some busty girl problems//perks by rampaige and tell you how I relate.

This is me. Most of the time. It's really hard to find the perfect clothing. Well not that one actually exist but it's really hard to look good in oversized clothing. I'm not the thinnest person out there and huge boobs, they make you look even fatter. I mean like seriously. I'd like to avoid huge clothing but I love wearing them, it is so comfortable but at the same time i want to look nice. I'd have problem picking an outfit every single time. maybe this is just me, I mean I'm picky by nature. I usually go for the oversize clothing though coz I just can't concentrate on anything else if I'm too self conscious about how I look.


Evil boobs. This is what happens when you have heavy stuff sticking out of your chest. It's not easy carrying them around. Not easy playing basketball with these. This is why I don't usually run. I just wait under the net. Ahh bra marks. Would you have believed me if I told you I don't have those? Well ding dong I do but they go away overnight so I guess it's not such a big problem.

 
ME. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I mean why can't they just provide a bigger size? WHY WHY WHY? I can't count how many bras I've seen and want but can't because they just don't have my size. People get to choose the style while I have to choose by size. NOT FAIR. The smaller bras are always much prettier. The big ones are usually really expensive too. I wonder how much money my parents spent on my bras. Just my bras for these past few years.


Weehee finally one good thing about these things. I mean everytime I'm in the library and I'm cold. I secrectly do this. No one will ever know muahahaha. Well unless my readers don't spread then I guess - wait wtf. What am I saying?


So yeah. Anyone. Any gender? If you ever need a shoulder to cry on. I'm right here. Just ask and I'll lend you a boob or two to cry on. Of course you're going to have to give me something to dry myself with after. Miss Speaker must really feel this way. I get random hugs from her all the time. Can't say I hate it but can't say I love it too. However, it is still very pleasant to be cuddled :)


This. I don't know. I feel unsafe. I feel like I'm going to die early because of them. I mean I know if I take precautions and go for check ups, I won't die but there's still that paranoid feeling I have. I mean I guess it's kind of a good thing that it increases my awareness, it means I'm going to take extra care of them. But seriously? Don't busty girls have a higher risk of getting breast cancer?


aaaaawwwww. Miss Scorpio. Mr Bear Cat. This is for you. Well maybe a little to Miss Angel and also Mr Freedom. We do have boob talk sometimes don't we? Especially you. Yes. YOU.

 
Yeah. you have no idea how hard it is to look for a dress that is PERF. If the dress doesn't go through my boobs. It does not go through anything. I can try on 30++ of dresses in a day and I can safely say that I might only fit 5 of them and I might not even like them but I can only choose from the five of them so I am very frustrated about my prom dress. I don't even know what to wear I- just. I know I have a huge frame and I was made fun of a lot when I was younger. I tried. My frame is just big. I can't do anything about my bone structures. They just won't shrink. I mean I know people are just joking when they say I'm big or stuff and I know I should just dismiss it but a part of me just can't help but feel offended. I'm sorry.


Miss Jay. If you see this. Happy times during basketball and netball practice.


Yeah. This must happen a lot huh? I wouldn't possibly know. I mean there are the ups and downs. I mean just be yourself. Your boobs don't define you. However, I define boobs.


I guess. I do love my boobs :)

#blue thoughts

it's funny how sometimes the most random people can say the sweetest things and how the important ones just end up hurting you every time. Well maybe, it's because they are important, their opinions matter, every little thing they do matter. today someone said something that made me feel good about myself. I mean I always have Miss Scorpio, Mr Bear Cat and my fifits for that but this time it's totally out of the blue and i wasn't even expecting it. AT ALL. i have feeling that he might not even know how his words really made me happy, he said it so nonchalantly and it sounded sincere, NOT a hint of insecurity or doubt in it. Well, knowing me, I'm going to say something like... 'urm maybe he didn't really mean it.' or 'don't think so much lah, he was just trying to be nice.' and stuff like that. I tell you I can go on and on about small things like this. Look, if you think I might have special feelings for this someone. Please snap out of it. When I write something like this about someone, it doesn't have to mean that I want in his pants. He is a very fun and nice guy though and he is good company. okay let's put that really really random thought aside.

what I really should talk about right now is about the 'transfer duty' which is the direct translation from the malay phrase. Gee  please forgive me, I'm really tired. I was nervous the whole day, I think I was partially scared too. It felt like I'm going to lose everything and that the library I worked so hard on is going to be passed on to someone I don't really know. What if he/she makes a mess out of things? What if I hand it over to someone who isn't worthy? I remember Mr Bear Cat leaving the library to me, I did my best, I really did. Seriously, I am given too much credit. Truth is, the other AJKs work the butts off just as much as I do or heck maybe even more but I am the one who gets the extra mark. Yes I feel very guilty but no one is suppose to find out about it. The 'transfer duty' HAHA went okay I think .Just that I think I might gone overboard with a lower six, I'm pretty sure he hates me now. I wouldn't be surprise he wouldn't want to talk to me again for the rest of the year. If he ever reads this. I'm going to leave a little note here. 

Mr Playful, I'm sorry if you think I'm picking on you. I'm sorry if you think I'm only mean to you. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings but know that I think well of you. Okay maybe you did gave me a bad impression when you were all whiny when I asked you to do stuff but I also understand that you worry about your studies. That's why you are very reluctant to join anything. I bully people I like. You should know that. Well I don't 'like' like you. I just mean I like you as a friend or maybe a little brother. You make my day sometimes when you wave or smile at me. I really hope you don't stop doing those and I'm going to stop treating you and the other juniors like crap now that I'm NOT your president anymore. I'm your friend. 

I guess the new President is trustworthy. The way he stood in front and told the whole class how he wants to be the next president proudly. I admired that courage, I could have never done that so I guess that's why he got my vote. I hope he'll hold on. I know it's hard sometimes but I know he'll get through it because he has 20 subordinates. Well as for me, I had 14 minions! -laughs- okay I did not mean to offend anyone okay? it was a joke. I just realized that today was the last time all of us PSS would be able to stand in front of the whole class like that. It felt nice. We felt like a team. It reminded me of the times we were asked to do impossible things and we puled through, the times I throw a freaking tantrum because we were always given last minute jobs! The times we joked around the round table in the library. All of that is coming to an end. It makes me really sad but also proud because I was apart of all those beautiful things, all these beautiful people. You guys are my heroes. Also I'm going to have to asked those who nicknamed me Miss President to start looking for a new one*wink* I'm not the one ruling your asses anymore. 

So much to do, So little time.

'we kissed, 

I fell under your spell.

a love,

no one can deny.'

okay that wasn't suppose to mean anything.

#september

September. My favorite month of the year. I'm pretty sure you can guess why and I am not shy to admit so too. It's the month of the year when my mom gave birth to her first baby 19 years ago. I'm sure she still remembers it like it was just yesterday. Even though I'm a horrible daughter to have, i lose my temper all the time, i raise my voice all the time, but she still loves me and i admit that i will always love her too. This is what comes out of me when i blog at night. Sentimental stuff, not usually my style. I guess I'm going to bombard you guys with some virgo facts and tell you if i can relate or not just to cut out all the sentimental shit i wrote.

' Virgo women are the suffer in silence type. They internalise a lot of hurt feelings and stress because they don't like to burden others'

Sorry to say this but it's NOT true. I mean maybe the not wanting to burden others is true, i don't like asking for favours because i don't know. i'm pretty sure everyone else has better things to do though this does not apply to my family members. I like relying on them, sometimes way too much but when it comes to my friends, i would think twice before asking them for help. Yes back to the suffer in silence type. HAHAHA. There's just no way Audrey can keep things to herself. I tell everyone everything. Well things about me of course, I have no problem expressing myself. I do it quite frequently too. It doesn't matter where I am or what time it is, I can always talk. Well, maybe not to everyone, just those who i know would really listen and actually have something nice to say afterwards. Woah don't get it the wrong way, I don't want people to tell me what I want to hear. I want the truth even if it's ugly. Note that. I like honest and straightforward people so don't beat around the bush because that pisses me off. You want something. Say it to my face. Or my hand. It works either way.

'If your girlfriend ain't a Virgo. I feel bad for you son.'

Okay actually. If your girlfriend was a virgo, I'd feel bad for you. You would have to deal with constant mood swings, yelling, coldness, mushiness, accusation, reassurance, and a whole of ugly stuff. Being the insecure people we are, this is what happens. You will hear constant "do you really love me?" "why do you love me" "what is it that you love about me" or even maybe "i hate you don't talk to me you piss me off don't text me don't you dare call me i'm breaking up with you this is over i don't ever want to see you again shut up eff off go away..." and that's only 16% of everything. But of course, it doesn't apply to everyone okay? I'm just saying this base on my experience :) HAHA 

'A virgo woman likes to work alone.'

Well its not that i like to work alone, it's just that i get things done faster alone. I am way more productive when i'm on my own because obviously there isn't anyone there for me to distract. Also one thing about myself is that I am a great distraction and i don't even have to try. Top reason why i never go study with my friends when they ask me to, I go there and all of us will end up with nothing but empty chat and laughter. The truth is I like working with people, I like how they give opinions and reactions or ideas which i can learn from. Maybe sometimes I can't take criticisms but all the time i am trying to accept everyone's opinion even if i don't like them. Accepting everyone's opinion is actually a hard thing for me however the irony is that i am easily influenced. I go with any plan as long as everyone is pleased with it. 

'Virgo women are extremely precise. We know exactly what we want, but we like things to be perfect. That is why we are fussy.'

Surprisingly true. I always think of myself as someone who would just go with the flow but truth is when i let someone take over and he/she does the opposite of what i want. I have the urge to punch them in the face. I can't help it. It's just Virgo logic. I do like things to be perfect. I spend a lot of time in my head thinking about the perfect things that would happen in everyday life but of course they seldom do. It however does keep me from falling asleep during maths so keep in mind that whenever i'm not asleep during maths. I am actually day dreaming while still keeping a straight face as if i'm listening to the teacher. Fussy. I guess fussy is my middle name. I see something out of place, i flinch. This does not really make me a very organize person. My room is a horrible mess, clothes everywhere, books piled up everywhere. Junk everywhere. Okay I think you have a very precise picture of how my room would look like. So call me when you're heading over, preferably 3 days before you come. Thank you.

'Virgos can sometimes come off as harsh but they have the best intentions.'

Yes, I apologize to anyone I've offended but I really really didn't mean them. I don't like conflict. I tend to avoid them (maybe not when I'm on my period) because fighting someone is very tiring. I can't sleep knowing somewhere out there, someone wants to grab a knife and stab me at night. I shy off whenever someone picks a fight (a real one) not because i'm a coward, simply because i don't want to make things worst. To be honest, I don't want to get myself involve in so many emotional things but it's fairly interesting so I keep getting myself hunched. I do have the best intentions. When I say something offensive to someone, it's probably because i wanted to make someone laugh and it means a lot to me that someone actually laughs at my jokes even though they all involve human anatomy. When I say something sarcastic it's usually because I want you to realize what you're doing it is upsetting me so that you actually stop before i smack your face. 

I would really love to go through some more but I am dead tired and a bug just flew straight into my face. I'm going to have to end this banana cookies baking session right here. 

'cause you are the piece of me I wish I didn't need,

chasing relentlessly still fight and i don't know why'