#graduates

Like they say, nothing lasts forever. I graduated today together with all my precious friends. It feels like it's even closer to the final exams now. I'm scared. I really am. It's really frustrating to think that you might not be able to do well this time. I cannot lie but I do feel discourage because I feel like I've been slacking off a lot this semester. Well, blame yourself. I'll do this graduation post before I start being in berserk study mode. I highly doubt there will be anymore blogpost anytime soon.

I woke up really early today. I don't know if it was from all the excitement but I did. I got to school rather late though because I had breakfast with my mom. She insist I have breakfast before the Convo so I said yes. I got to school and everyone was busy doing their hair, playing cards, taking pictures, etc. I took Mr Goalkeeper's camera and took pictures of everyone who was in class at that time. It didn't take too long before all of us were to assemble in the hall. We settled down, stood in front of fans, made fun of our oversized jubah, took more pictures, etc. Mom went to my Convo again this year, it was all last minute because she told me she wasn't going to attend the other day. She came anyway and she doesn't know how much that meant to me, she got flowers and it was beautiful. Thank you mom. I heart you so much ;,) Haha she told me not to put any pictures of her on facebook. Well, too late mom.

We all lined up outside the hall waiting for the guests to arrive. It was a really long line. All 77 of us. A lot of chats were made, flash mob plans, height comparing and of course more jubah fun making. We waited for a bit and it was finally the time to enter the hall. The moment when I walked down that hall, I feel like everyone was looking at me and I want to look presentable. I feel presentable. I feel superior (maybe because I'm like older than most of the people in school) but seriously that feeling when we slowly paced to our seats, it was magical. We sat and listened to speeches where Mr Freedom and I would occasionally make fun of. It took a REALLY long time for all the speeches to end but I guess all of that was worth the wait. One by one, all of us went up there to receive that certificate. Mom came up with me, that made me happy too teehee. The whole thing was over rather quickly. It felt like time just sped up for no reason. We then went up to present the ukelele to Mr Bestah, I sure hope he likes the gift. I mean he looks like it :)

I should mention the gifts I got today. The flowers my mom got me aside. Mr Fencer and I decided to get each other felt Avengers 'flower' graduation thingy. We bought it the day before and were asked to decorate it at home to present to the other the second day. I decided to add his name and the date of our Convo to his 'graduation flower thingy' which made him really guilty coz he thought I was just joking about the decorating part. I didn't do it on purpose just to make him feel guilty. I just really wanted to do something for the guy :) He is my adorable little brother :)
                                 
                                     

The juniors got every senior a Rose too. It was really nice of them. However, I would like to mention two special juniors who gave me a card. The content was really sweet and it made me cry. I know I'm not suppose to cry over such things but it was just- right at that moment. I want to thank Mr Chew and Mr Chai who wrote such kind words. I will forever remember you guys for being so sweet on my Graduation. Not forgetting Miss Scorpio. I absolutely love the Origami flower you made me. Thank you so much. I don't know if you knew but I really like doing origami teehee.

Two hours passed by so quickly and it was finally time to go up that stage one last time to shake our lecturer's hands. I shook Mr Bestah's hand, really wanted to give him a hug. Too bad I don't have the courage to, I was afraid that if I did, it was going to make me cry.  I shook hand by hand thinking to myself how I am going to leave the school, leave my teachers, leave all of my wonderful friends. My kokoro was in pain. I continued anyways and I got to Madam Victoria. She pulled me into a hug and it made me teary. I got to Miss Sheily and she detected my tears and she urged me not to cry. Goodness that did not work. I could feel my tears on my cheek. Lastly I got to the last teacher, Madam Kong who radiates a very motherly presence to me. She shook my hand and she pulled me into a hug. That was the last straw, I could not contain it anymore. I just let it all out. I turned to leave and Madam Kong was still grabbing my hand so tightly. So tightly it made me want to cry even more. She let go eventually and I left only to find Miss Sexy Fifit and Miss Angel standing there waiting for me. Miss Angel looked at me and smiled, '我知道你一定会哭的' Goodness. That made me cry even harder. The three of us walked pass all the lower forms and they just stared at me crying. I walked pass the lower six and I saw Mr Chew staring at me lawl. Miss Sexy Fifit decided to get her camera out and made everyone take pictures with the crying me. The guys were certainly enjoying it. How could you Mr Chess!? Had GROUP photo (YES GROUP). I'll let the picture talk.

I'm pretty sure you all can guess what's up next. Yep. PHOTO FRENZY. I must thank everyone who came with a Polaroid / Camera. Took a lot of pictures (AS USUAL) I got a picture with Mr PA and Mr Chemistry and of course my favourite teacher Mr Bestah. I don't have a picture with Madam Kong :(

Everything was nice. I don't know if that's the right way to describe it but it really was heart warming :) I really hope that things don't end when Form 6 does. I want to still be able to hang with my buddies even after graduation. Things will be better. I know it will. Here's from me to you.

#bearcat

Okay. I have exactly 53 minutes to type this. I really hope I can get this out by midnight. Tomorrow (in 53 minutes) is my best friend's birthday. A beautiful person born into this beautiful world. I know you might find this cheesy but I guess that's how this post is going to be like. So If you're reading this before you give up your Mac to the school, do remember that this is the last thing you did with 'Aero'. I'm sure Aero will happy that Elliot decided to write a little something for his owner (soon to be ex) Okay sorry. No more teasing you about it.

If I were to write about all the memories we had AKA all the fights, osmosis, boob punch, tickling, kicking etc. I would be repeating everything I posted a few months ago. I know you get a lot of appreciation post and mine doesn't really stand out too much but I want you to know that every little thing I type her is coming from me. This soul right here that connects with yours. Don't ask me how or why? It just connects. I know you don't feel like listening to nostalgic stuff right now and I'm pretty sure everyone knows about the 'under-the-tree-incident' or 'MCD-foodfight-pantspulling-faceslapping' so I'll write about something different.

I don't know about you but I thought about how things will be now if you were still here. Well if you did, you might think that it would have been way better if you stayed. But if you ask me, I think it's nice this way too. Besides the distance and some alone time, I finally understand how it feels like to miss someone every single day. I finally know how it feels like to still feel so attached to someone even though they are far away. I finally got to use my skype( never used that shit ). If you were still here, I can get you to drive me around. We would have more Lucy Kitchen moments. We would have more fights. You would distract me a lot! You would sleep in class a lot. You would do a lot of powerpoints for the school. You would be freaking PRESIDENT of my library. ( a wonderful one of course) We would slack off a lot during maths. You would have more time to observe me while I do maths. I would be able to osmosis you any time I want and you can punch my boobs whenever you get the chance. (it hurt last time.)

But no. These things weren't meant to happen and of course there is a reason for all of that. Because you are far away, I feel the need to talk to you everyday. I know we're both busy with school and stuff but you never prioritize those over me. Thank you :) Because you live so far away, I appreciate you more because I feel like if I'm not careful enough, you're just going to slip away and leave. Because I don't really know what you're up to every single day (yes I'm no stalker like you), I want to listen to your stories, I want to relate and I want you to relate to mine. I know it's not easy but I want you to hear them and imagine them like you're there, I'm not asking for too much. Because we don't see each other everyday anymore, I am afraid. Afraid that you might turn into a stranger, someone that I used to know. 14 years more of friendship huh? If faith should step in and we do only have 14 more years of friendship, I sure can't interfere. I want to make those 14 years worth living, I want to spoon feed you again like you said I did, I want to sing songs to you, I want you to sing back too. I want to travel? Remember Japan? I want to drive you around at least LAWL. There's so many things we NEED to do.

Keep telling me all the things that happened on your side because I am going to keep telling you mine. Keep telling me how you think you're going to screw your grades up and then end up being the top of your class. Keep telling me how you wish you were back here because you miss the food. Keep telling me bad stuff about your friends because I kinda enjoy it too. Keep making comments about my Pusheen Cat Stickers on facebook because they are hillarious. Continue to send me selfies with your new phone (show off). Continue to give me random skype sessions that last longer than it should. Continue to always be by my side because I want to be by yours.

Rose are red, 

Violets are blue.

Don't eat bread,

Coz it'll kill you.

HAHA okay not true. But seriously, don't eat bread with a dry throat. This is going nowhere.
*clears throat* Proceed.

Here's to the weirdest, most sarcastic but most adorkable guy in the world,
Well, in my world, at least. I recall you mentioned how special I was last time. Well I'm here to tell you that you're the reason why I feel special. Hence that makes you even more special that the queen bee herself. You have to shake that poker face off some how, not to mention that same DOMO shirt you wear everytime you come back. I know how pessi you are about your life but keep climbing, no matter how tired or how itchy your body gets( you know from all the sweat ) , just push forward or upward ;) if you know what I mean. You'll make it and the best part is, I might be there to see you do it :) You're now a year older. AGAIN. Soon you'll be legal too. I hope you don't drink and turn into an asian party animal. I mean you might give people the impression that asians are rice eating alcohol loving geniuses. Even though I'm not there with you and we can't really celebrate 'celebrate' but know that I'm with you throughout the day, just like any other day. Try imaging me walking down the hall right to your locker, slapping you on the back saying 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY!' Believe me, It'll happen one day. One way or another. I'm gonna get you.

Awww HOW CUTE HAHA

Remember the arahan we made?

Yeah Yeah I know TOO much make up.

Must you kiss my phone?

THIS WAAAAAAAAAAY BACK

*drum rolls*

REVEALING SKYPE SESSIONS!

HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY!

'Will you take a moment, promise me this

That you'll stand by me forever

But if God forbid fate should step in

And force us into a goodbye

If you have children some day

When they point to the pictures

Please tell them my name'

:) and oh.

I had the time of my life. Fighting dragons with you <3

#LASTVEGAS

It finally came to an end. Having to look for a dress 2 months in advance. Googling for nice prom hairstyles. Trying to find a nice clutch and end up stealing your mom's. Being extremely excited for Prom. It came. It ended. Life goes on but memories will never fade. I still remember it like it was yesterday. Oh wait, it was just yesterday. Well, it sure felt like forever because it has got to be one of the best nights of my life. It was more than I what I expected. It really was beautiful. I want to tell every little thing that happened yesterday just so I can remember better the next time I try to reminisce. Okay so here goes.

Remember I said I forced sleep myself at 8PM the day before just because I wanted to avoid ugly eye bags? Well. BAD IDEA. I woke up at 11PM and couldn't sleep until it was 3AM. GREAT. I end up reading the old conversations I had with my best friend back then ( don't get me wrong. We ARE still best friends ) Miss Ulquiorra. We wrote RP conversations during class a lot last time. So many secrets, so many memories and they're all with me. Inside my messy room. You will never find it! Ha, just kidding, just check the drawers. I fell asleep somewhere near 2.48AM I think and I woke up at 6AM because my mom was getting ready for work and my brother had to go to school. My sister went to her friend's place and my dad left for work. Yeah, home alone. GREAT. It was kind of boring being all by myself at home. I hate being left alone. Luckily someone agreed to have a 10 minute skype session with me. It turned into a long one hour of password guessing and then it ended. The word end is really annoying. I was waiting for my brother to come home around noon and so he did. I cooked him lunch and went to take a nap. My mom came home an hour later and I was still sleeping on the sofa next to my brother. She woke me up and made me take a bath wtf so I did and mom drove me to the nearest saloon to do my hair. She paid for my hair. I got it for free :D The hairdresser was mom's friend so she took extra good care of me so she made my hair fabulous and I want to thank her for that! Miss Angel and I were texting each other and Miss Jay offered to come fetch me from home, which was a little shocking for me because people are usually reluctant to drive to my area because it's complicated and it's scary at night. They arrived and my mom send out, she gave me some motherly advice right before I stepped out of the gate, she was being all 'mom' because I guess, she knows. How important prom night was for me. Thank you mom :)

We all gathered at Miss Angel's place and we did our nails well except for Miss Jay, she went home to do stuff ;) had some girl fun and I decided to finally put on my dress. Well not that I haven't tried it on before. youhavenoideahowmanytimesiputthatdressonjusttomakesureidontlooktoobadinit. It didn't take much effort to put it on because I had lots of practice already. I got in my dress and Miss Angel was standing right in front of the door when I walked out. I don't remember the exact words she said but she sure mentioned something like '要掉出来了' Miss Angel pervert :P I was in Miss Moon's room when a car came and parked right in front of the house. I was trying to make out the mysterious person and then suddenly a handsome Mr Freedom hopped out of the car and stood there in front of the gate. You got me there Mister. Miss Jay came shortly and she did my make up. Making me even more fabulous ;) We all left in a rush because we thought we were going to be late. On the way to Horizon, we talked about how we are going to take lots of pictures and how Mr Freedom was stressing that Miss Moon has a pretty dress and how Miss Jay and I sang to wrecking ball like crazy. It didn't take too long to get to Horizon but it was really fun being in the car with them. Mr Freedom parked his car and got his cute little bow tie on and we were ready to roll! We bumped into some lower six and so we decided to share the elevator. Guess who guess who? :P Mr KF it is! Walked in together with the girls feeling fabulous. the juniors greeted us at the door and - gosh things were so beautiful. Walked over to the guys and the girls. Compliments were exchanged. Hugs were offered. Boobs were smashed by mine. Then it was time to sit down. I sat in between Miss Angel and Mr Freedom. They took real good care of me. Constantly filling my plate with food.

The juniors did a lot of singing this year, it was great. I like singing along trying to sound louder than everyone else HAHAHA no seriously. they did really well. Especially Mr Playful. I was impressed. Did I mention that Mr Fencer, Mr Cuddly and Mr Chess were to perform? Well if I didn't then there, I said it. It's alright to be nervous. I'm nervous all the time. Mr Fencer got nervous during his performance but then Mr Bestah went up stage and played the drum with him. Omgosh you have no idea how handsome he looked when he jumped up the stage to help his student. Glorious. Then the real deal happened. Three guys from my class performing in front of the whole crowd. I feel like a proud mom HAHA.

We must not forget to mention the Coke Challenge. Having Miss Jay, Mr Goalkeeper, Mr Freedom, Mr Fencer and I represented our table and got us second place wooohoo! 25 tokens bebeh! The 25 tokens of course was in exchange for something else :)

The whole thing ended really soon with Miss CC touching speech. It really almost made me cry but then I thought about the cam whoring session that was waiting for me. I stopped. We took crazy pictures. Really Crazy. Thanks Brian. There are not many guys out there whom I can be as crazy and open as I was with you. So moar pictures then?

                                         Oops careful don't drop Mr Bestah now.

ZE gang

boobies XD

The Friday Librarian Gang

The sexy guys from my class ;)

I just feel like including my best friend in this post. thank you for being happy for me. The whole thing was wonderful and I couldn't ask for me but if you ask me what could have made things better. It has got to be you :) You never slipped my mind for a second that wonderful night. 

*drumrolls*

6AS 2013!

Magical.

#makeyoufeelmylove

okay so my best friend is being whiny about how I never update my blog anymore. HELLO I do okay? It's just that you're too busy to see them now. It's not healthy for a teenager to stay in the library for more than 8 hours especially when you have a comfy home where you can actually study. Yes. Audrey likes to study at home. It helps. OMG i can't believe I just mentioned studying. I skipped tuition last night. NO, not because I wanted to study at home. I was just freaking lazy. I mean I'm not lazy, it's more of an excited feeling. I can't do anything else until the even I have been waiting for actually happens. Guess what? It's happening. Tonight. In less than 7 hours. I am excited. Exactly why I slept EARLY last night. I practically forced sleep myself at 8PM and end up waking up at 11PM WTF and then I couldn't sleep. I was too excited, YES THAT is how EXCITED I am. I'm not going to deny that I am also a little sad. We all know that when PROM ends, exams are coming, graduation is like only less than 20 days away. Maan I love my class. I didn't get much sleep after all last night so I end up with eye bags right now and things just had to get worst. What kind of best friend shows you REALLY sad videos on YOUTUBE on the day you want to look most beautiful. Yes, you made me cry. Good thing I didn't have any make up on. It's almost noon now. I'm going to pack right after I finish typing this. Going to do my hair. Put some make up on. Don't forget the necklace I got from my driving tutor's new store in City Mall ;) Oh and my sexy heels. Too bad they won't look very sexy on me. Whoopsie. I hope tonight would be wonderful. Magical. A night to remember.

'I could make you happy, make your dreams come true.

Nothing that I wouldn't do.

Go to the ends of the Earth for you,

To make you feel my love'

#gammarays

things are changing. not sure if it's for the better but it is definitely changing. that's the funny thing about life. you don't know what holds in the future and you can't turn back time to make things right. You only get one chance at EVERYTHING. you win some and you lose some. I think I won some big stuff in life so far but I can't say that I've lost not as much. I'm only a quarter through my life according to Mr Bear Cat. I'm pretty sure there's going to be a whole lot of shit I have to go through. No matter. I know that no matter where I go, what I do, I have my people and that matters. So much more than I thought it would. This change that I mentioned earlier. It's not anything big but it's definitely going take some getting used to. Knowing me, I'd probably blend very quickly. I don't like change but for the better, I'm willing to sacrifice. Sacrifice is good. You get something in return. Right? NO. you don't and it's not nice to expect things in return. If you want to do something, do it because you want to, not because you want something in return. One thing mom and dad taught me.

'We don't have to hurry

You can take as long as you want

I'm holdin' steady

And my heart's at home

With my hand behind you

I will catch you if you fall'

#boo-hoo

it wasn't a bad day. it wasn't about boys. it wasn't about school. it wasn't about grades. no it's not because someone 'bojio' me again. it wasn't about anything i had to worry about a while back. things are just not going the way they should for me right now, whenever i try to fix things. They either don't work out or they just turn out worst. I know I'm not suppose to be all down just because it doesn't work out but the worst part about everything is... I feel alone. I feel like I'm the only who cares, who freaking gives a damn. I feel like they are not even making an effort to make things better for themselves. I feel like I am the only one trying. I envy people who can just let it be and move on. I just can't. It's not that I don't want to but it will only come back and haunt me. Haunt me how? You know, all the what ifs? What if you tried to save it? What if you tried to help? What if it turned out better? I feel like I should just try but apparently my type of trying is not working at all. I want to take it further but I am just a freaking coward who is afraid of facing things. Afraid of making things worst. Afraid that things might turn out horrible because of me. Me alone. I know I'm not suppose to blame myself for what happened to them? But I do. Even if it's just a bit. That's slightest guilt. It stay here carved deep inside my heart. Things get better. Do they now? How long will it take? Years? If that's the case then how many more years should I wait. I'm probably not in the best position to assume things like this, saying that they are not trying to make things better. Maybe they are, but in their own ways. Ways that are kind of selfish. If you ask me.

in the middle of my boo-hoo-ing today, i just couldn't stop. i did try but the H20, they were screaming 'YOLO' I tried to calm down and I did. Several times. I cannot count how many times I bawled in that 2 period time. I'm sorry if I made the floor wet, or if i made the classroom awkward. I'm sorry that Miss Scorpio couldn't study because of me. I mean she's sick but she has to take care of my shit for me too. That made me a little guilty. I know how hard Biology is. As I was saying, in the middle of my water works, I could have sworn I saw Mr Goh staring straight at me. (yeah that's what you get for sitting next to the freaking window) I don't know. I think I saw this concern look in his eyes. I mean my eyes were covered in tears so I couldn't really tell. I'd like to think of it that way. I'd like to think that he was concern about me because he was very fatherly. Did I ever mention that Mr Goh feels like my dad? I mean the aura. It's so oto-san to me. I wonder what my dad would do if he saw me like that. He probably never seen me like that before but I'm pretty sure he's just going to come up to me and give me a good scolding asking me not to cry. I don't cry in front of my parents much. It feels vulnerable even though they are the people who you can be most vulnerable with. Mr Goh was distributing the papers during Physics test today, he gave me my paper gently? Is that how I should put it? Gently? I guess that's a normal way of putting it right? Thanks Mr Goh. 

I hope I scared no one today. I mean I did burst into a mewl so very suddenly. 

Miss Scorpio, thank you so much. 

Mr Freedom , I needed the tissue.

Miss Enlighten, I'll buy you new royal tissue! 

Mr Fencer, thanks for the pat. 

Everyone else, sorry.  

I'm fine so don't worry. I'm the kind of person who gets up and on after a cry. I can't try to convince you so you're just going to have to trust me.