rawr

you're drifting away. so far away. we were so close. you shun me away. you shun him away. you shun all of us away. we care and you don't. we tried and you didn't. we stopped and you think we stopped caring. you try to seek comfort from others because we weren't enough. or. rather you never tried to give us a chance. realize. please just realize. i want to warn you. i want to help you. if i do, you'd just push me further. i know you need time. i know you need more. i'm willing to give you those. i'll just wait. all of us will wait. hurry up and realize. hurry up and come back.  we love you.

# Form6adventure

Hello peeps. Okay. I'm not going to say something like someone pestering me to update my blog even though they never did update theirs but then again, oops I just said it. What a way to start off huh? Yes, like the hash tagged title said, my Form 6 adventure. Okay let me make it sound more japanese (sorry I've been feeding myself a lot of animes ever since STPM ended) *clears throat

TADAA! Okay don't laugh but it's directly translated and I have ZERO knowledge in the language so forgive me. Well it basically says 'Ōdorī no FORM6 Bōken' AKA Audrey's FORM6 adventure. Okay I spent too much text on that. We are now moving on. I'm trying to think of the best way to write this chronologically. It might end up in a mess though so I don't really see the point. I'll just start from where I see fit. I wouldn't know the exact time for the events too so yeah bear with me. Try not to point out too much.

2012

Orientation week was horrible. For me at least. I didn't want to be there. I was forced to go the same school again. The teacher asked us to present our ambitions and being the grumpy unmotivated me, I stood up and said I didn't have one. I probably said that just so I could be in the same group and Miss iiyee and Miss Moley. We were assigned to a team of people who wished to be accountants in the future and that is how we got to know them. The Avengers Group. Thanks to the Marvel movie I was crazy about, I made everyone in the team call me CAPTAIN AMERICA. We had activities where we have to present in front and there were a lot of annoying people AKA Miss Chancello with her 'seriouslys' and 'rights'. Even so, it was a wonderful week. (not really.) Oh and I got mad at the counselor teacher for being a d**k to us.

The class was filed with strangers and we all know how I feel about strangers. They are evil and mean, they won't talk to you and look down on you until you prove yourself worthy. What was I suppose to do? I had nothing to prove, I couldn't beat these people. They all came from other schools and they all look like they're going to kick my butt in the next exams. Everyone, I say (well mostly everyone ) gave me this intimidating aura. I remember everyone standing outside the class waiting for the school lady to unlock the door and when she did, I rushed in and got the middle seats. ( I was so rude! ) Everyone got to their seats, some of them arrived late and had to go look for extra tables. The teacher came in and asked for volunteers( class rep ), there she was, Miss Red Head( Previously known as Miss CC, nick name changed due to her current hair colour) shot her hand up looking all so enthusiastic. I thought to myself. 'Woah this girl got guts.' The other higher ups position were assigned after exchanging nasty yet subtle recommendations but all is well. Things were good. Now on to the the assignments of our MUET groups. The groups were assigned from the name list. Since Miss iiyee, Miss Angel, Mr Freedom and I are the first 4 person, we were the very first group. Miss Teo made everyone sit in group and she asked us to do our Speaking, I took my file, my notebook and my chair and turned to sit with all of them. I though to myself. 'OMG it's the smart kid from ShanTao and that girl from Lawas. thank God I still have Abby here with me. Thank you Thank you Thank you' *laughs After a few sessions of Speaking with them. I notice how Miss iiyee is very good at being spontaneous, Miss Angel never running out of points and Mr Freedom being a really gentle person, oh and he is also really good with point and words. I envy all those. I am a very 'stick to the book' person. I can't do spontaneous, I don't have many points so I end up twisting my points a lot. I know this is going to sound really arrogant and stuff but - I felt that, my group was one of the best *sparkle

Sports day came by really quickly. Being former greenies, Mr Bear Cat and I decided to pay the marching team a visit. Well, we lend them some help (not much really) we just showed up on the actual day to help them with the costumes and stuff. They let us be apart of the picture too awww how sweet. Too bad I turned them down. Unlike a shameless person I know.

I forgot if the Orientation games were after or before the Sports Day (oh well ). The orientation games. Ahhhh. Memories. I remember being assigned to a group with my Librarian senpai, Miss Jay, Mr Soccer, and Mr F. They were all so quiet. I initiate everything lawl (according to Mr Soccer ) and thus Our group was named "7 ELEVEN" because we have 11 members and 7 girls. Genius. Judge me if you must. I have to say that our group looked like the underdog that year, our leader was a really soft and nice girl and she was really shy too. We did our best anyway and we discovered talents that day. I remember Mr Soccer counting cash calmly while people try to distract him. I also remember our team being insanely fast with the paper clip floating on the water surface thing. My team was the best because we won that day. No seriously. We won. It wasn't some 'even though we lost the game but we had strengthen our bond' kind of thing. *laughs Thank you Senpais for opening me up that day. I was truly happy. I don't know why but I can't find a picture for this.

Then came the PRA U PLCS games. Soo senpai was looking around for players. He wanted to look for more juniors for the boys basketball team. Miss Jay was also assigned to look for female players and she asked me. I turned her down. ( I was so rude! ) I didn't want to play because I was shy. There will be so many people watching and if you screw up, you screw up. People will exchange glances. People will laugh and I cannot stand / have people laughing at me. In the end, I joined anyway. Got to befriend Ying Senpai, Irene Senpai, Amanda Senpai, Li Juan Senpai and Zahirah Senpai (Oriention game captain!) That morning before the game, we got to hang out before heading to school. We went to an arcade to practice. Totally beat Mr Fencing that time. McDonalds for lunch that day. We only had to play two games against All Saint and a school from Inanam (omg sorry I forgot their names) but they were really rude and lack sportsmanship, I didn't really like that bunch. The game with All Saint however was really epic. I had so much fun. So Our school won. The boys won too. *Smiles Oh I also initially thought Soo Senpai was a bit arrogant and that he needs to lighten up (woah he's somewhat like Tsubaki from Sket Dance Episode 10 ) when he told me to change my shoes to fit school regulations. I was wrong. He is an awesome senior. I would often sneak glances at him whenever he passes our class. Well, me and certain people of course.

Enough about sports. We should talk about our clubs now. Thanks to Mr Bear Cat. A lot from our class have decided to be School Librarians. Genius. We went to the meeting, the interview. The horrible horrible interview. Note to self. Never ever let your best friend give you an interview. We contributed to the Library and our Senpais until they had to step down. The day of the election was somewhere near my Birthday if I'm not mistaken. Everyone gathered in the class. Some had to go find chairs because one classroom just isn't enough for everyone. Cherral Senpai was really nice and soft, she was really respectful to the teachers and she took care of us juniors *cheers But she retired and I was the new President. Hooray. I was given a really busy Vice Prez though so we didn't have many chances to work together. Oh I even got my sister to join. Wonderful. It was stressful at first. It was stressful after too. The library work (the messy books) never ends. NEVA! Good thing I had my people to back me up. I wrote a post last time. There it was, my first encounter with Miss Scorpio. *wink
I shall post my birthday picture here because I want to. *grins Thank you fifits <3

taken from fifit marie's blog <3 Abby is pointing at the sign board btw

Now, not forgetting the KEM PERDANA we signed up for. Not as contestants, more like the helpers of the camp. We didn't have to do much. We prepare stuff, we help the teachers out and most of them time we just sit back, relax and gossip til it snows. Through this camp, I got to know Miss Leaf more, it was sad when she had to quit Form 6 *cries The camp was really nice too, I got to watch other people suffer muahahaha. The saddest part is that we have to feed the campers first before we get to eat. Knowing the boys in KKHS, even the third round is not enough for them. So most time we just end up with very little food left. It was alright! I got to lose some weight. (yeah right)

Months passed, so much homework, so much maths to do. So much to do but so little time. Juniors were suppose to work on Prom for our seniors. I attended some of the meetings and they asked me to be their MC. I turned them down. (I was so rude!) I turned them down because I was scared. I have stage fright. Bla Bla Bla all those people staring and laughing at me stuff again. In the end, I did it. Of course I needed a lot of encouragement and a birthday present just to say yes. (omgosh I want to punch myself) I remember looking for dresses with the fifits, it was so nice. It was on the same day we had korean. It was also my first time having korean food. See the fifits teach me so much. *sparkle Prom was right after exams and the Librarian farewell party was right after Prom. Wonderful isn't it? Prom was on a Friday. I had to rush home and prepare myself. I couldn't wear my dress directly because Mr Bear Cat and I had unfinished business regarding the Librarian farewell. We had to do our speeches and buy gifts and asdfghjkl yes- a lot to do. We got there early meeting up with Mr I-can-bend-my-hand and Mr Ukiss (both were MCs too) I have to say, they did a really good job. It was my loss. *cries It was a fun night. Miss Scorpio and Mr Bear Cat sang that night. We also did a dance. (well not we) Gangnam Style. I had so much fun. We had so much fun. Here's to us.

Going to fast forward to Graduation Day. What? No. Not mine. Our seniors. I don't remember much. I only know we were asked to lined up to clap for whoever important people walking in. After that we were asked to just sit down and watch. Oh Mr Bear Cat and Miss Scorpio were MC that time. Teacher really counted on them that time. Phew. That time. It never hit me that I was going to graduate just in a year time. It was almost SEM 1 exams too. What was I doing with my life that time? I D K. So the days went by and SEM 1 was over really quickly. We even had a Librarian meeting right after the last paper too. Life of a Prez. It was fun and rewarding. Wait. I just skipped through a whole year there! I should have said. Life of a Prez. Is fun and rewarding.

2013

SEM 2 was really stressful for me. I found myself worrying about a lot of things which leads to the lack of activities during that time. However, like I said. Life of a Prez. Rewarding. We held a surprise party for our teacher advisor Cikgu Florence right after one of our meetings. It wasn't my idea, it was Miss Hello Kitty's idea. She was really considerate and stuff, she got her a cake and made her a huge card. Well it was suppose to be just us Upper six that time( Yes. Upper Six. I said it ), but we got some juniors I have a crush on to join us afterwards. I remember making them feel bad because they dirtied Mr Naruto's table and making them sweep our classroom floor. *evil laugh remembering Mr Martini. Mr ChaGuo & Mr FU.

I also joined this School Camp with Miss Red Head. We didn't want to go. Apparently, the school won't let us get away with it if we didn't so we just went with it. I really hated the teachers that time. Well the good part is that Miss Red Head and I were in the same team and we had to take care of a few 13 year olds. They were a handful I have to say but they listen when they have to. One of them was Mr Neighbour's little brother. You have no idea how awkward it was. I gave him hints that I know his brother and he must have asked his brother about it at home. He probably learned the awkward truth and started being really friendly with me in school. The kids- ugh they don't listen and they are kind of disrespectful, they don't treat us like seniors, they treat us like friends. I guess that's not a bad thing too, that just means we are not hard to get a long with right? So the camp was about trying to break a Malaysian record where we have to paint the 1 Malaysia logo. A lot of them. I don't remember how much but we just have to. The Persembahan night got cancelled even after all of us tried to come up with a plot. I was glad that we didn't have to go up though because I wad dead nervous. I couldn't show the kids! They would get scare. I remember this girl who was allergic to something and she had to stay in the classroom because she was crying a lot. I asked if she wanted to go home and she refused, so I asked my group members to bring dinner up for her but then when they came back they told me the teachers have already let her leave school. Poor girl. She was really enthusiastic too. I made a lot younger friends here. I also got to paint til my arms drop.

Library activities happen almost every month. There was the Family Reading Day program in April. Bookmark sell (which was surprisingly popular) during Chinese New Year. Bookmark sell in September and the Minggu Membaca in October. I think. Oh Mr Soccer and I took part in this GUESS GUESS GUESS game where one person draws and the other guesses. We joined last minute and we won. *laughs I was acting like an idiot though but it was worth it. It was fun. There was the late Pelantikan. Some other small activities too. Okay maybe it wasn't much work after all. LOL Remember how I described Senior Cherral being really soft and nice. I am the total opposite. I growl at my juniors and make them suffer. I make them write me letters whenever they are late and I always go check on them for reasons you should not know about. They always tell me to lighten up and try to get away by making me laugh or joke around. Those were the days. The days as Prez. I am going to miss that very much. Which reminds me. I watched Sket Dance Episode 70 and I cried a fountain. It was so beautiful. I am not giving any spoilers away but it really got me thinking about school life again and how I am never ever getting the chance again. Aaaaaaaah Sket Dance.

SEM 3 came and things got interesting. There were more things to do, more things to look forward to. We have juniors coming hooray. Now we will be able to find people to be our scapegoats. Well it's not all like that, we were really excited! Really. I even offered to help Mr Goh out during the registration. All four of us. Miss Psyduck, Miss Snow White, Miss Moley and I. Of course I had my eyes on two really cute but arrogant twins. It's normal for a woman to find hot guys interesting. Okay maybe they're not hot but they definitely caught my eye. Okay not sure if I should have said that but- meh I'm over them. People ought to know how things were back then. The registration was fun. I get to skip class too only to have Mr Oong come and give us graphs to do. Oh btw I enjoy drawing the PA graphs. I just hate it when I have to do it under pressure. That concludes the Lower Six Registration. Note to self. People don't always seem the way they are when you first met. First impressions are everything but people change. Adapt. You have no idea how many times I reselected the future president and secretary of the library. Ask Miss Scorpio.

Sports Day 2013. Yeah. Torture. Thanks to Mr Soon Lok, I was the Head of the marching team. I'm in charge of the costumes and banners and stuff. So since I'm in the Orange team this year (I betrayed the greenies *cries ) We all decided on the Flintstones and we had to make costumes. Miss Vyonne, Mr Soon Lok and I worked really hard on the costumes. We went to get the materials, went to Miss Vyonne's place to sew all the costumes. I am very greatly that she is the daughter of Tung E and that her mom is a great tailor. I felt like I was interfering with their work though and I kind of felt bad but there was no other choice. I can't do these girly stuff *growls I don't have pictures because the school banned the students from posting pictures (I D K why but WTF) We drew and painted the banner and flag. 'YABA DABA DOO' all the way. In the end, we got third place. Not too bad eh? *winks

The Beach Party AKA Class party! Well most of the class went and we had too much food. WE couldn't finish the food and we don't have enough water lawl. Note to self. Next time you go to the beach, prepare less food but more water. Apparently boys don't eat at the beach, they play ball and get hurt. Mr Freedom, Mr Key, Mr Same birthday, Miss Scorpio and I were barbeque-ing all the way. I was really really really scared that it was going to rain on that day because I chose the date lmao. I couldn't sleep my gosh. Well it did rain but it happened after everything was done. We got a break from all the food and we started playing ball with Mr Bestah. HAHA I love that teacher. Mr Fencer climbed up really high and couldn't get down because he was afraid of heights. Miss Jay having accident with the barbeque lamb. Mr Tall having an abdominal pain when I kicked him while we were playing ball. Miss Chancello and her outfit. Ahhhh. Memories. Priceless.

Form 6 Orientation Games 2013. This time. I was team leader. Ferocious team leader indeed. The games were really exciting. I had friends organising them and they were being really sneaky about the whole thing. Which made everything MORE fun. Like the year before. Mr Soccer and I are in the same team again! This time we also have Miss iiyee and the juniors I hand picked myself. I'll only mention some games here. Can't give you guys everything you know. The tissue blowing game. Goodness we have travel the tissue paper through a distance while keeping it in the air for all times. We were crawling over each other trying to blow the tissue up. We had many fails but we got through it. The Plasticine Guess Game. Alright. Members are to describe the object they were given using a plasticine, I decided that I should be the one trying to guess the final product. While I was waiting for them to finish. They laughed. They giggled. I didn't get it until I turned around to see it. It looked like a bra. It seriously looks like a bra. I DON'T KNOW what it is! So one my members cheated, they signalled me. It was glasses. We passed. OMG I know it was wrong and stuff but it was an ehem ehem member so I was really happy and omg yeah that's all I'm telling you shhh. In the end, we got third place. Still not bad right? *winks you'll probably wonder why we have that weird pose. Well that's because. We are AYAM TITANIUM (group name inspired by Miss iiyee) I really liked that day. SO MUCH

So came the SUKAN PRA U thing. I don't really know about. This year there wasn't any basketball but we were asked to play netball. Unlike the year before. We totally screwed up. I feel bad for my juniors. We even got really nice jerseys. We were really bad because we weren't familiar with the rules. Here's a picture anyway.

More Exams. More PBS. More things to do. More exercises. More Studying. So much to do. Again, so little time.

This year, we got our juniors to organize Prom for us. A lot were against it and made a commotion but our class stood strong. 99% of us made it that night. Of course, with a lot of persuasion and scolding. Heck these guys in my class really enjoys it when you ball a fist at them. One of the things I like about them too. They don't hold grudges. *cheers 6AS guys you rock. Dresses. Shoes. Accessories. *growls It took a really LONG time to hunt that dress down. I initially bought one but then I changed my mind. I got another cheaper one and was really reluctant to wear it too. I couldn't make up my mind. Okay skip the girls stuff. I already made a post about PROM! Everyone was beautiful that night. All the guys looked 45% hunkier than usual and they sure like taking picture. (more like photo bombing. Yes Mr F I'm talking about you) There were definitely more of us this year compared to the year before. Everyone understood that it was going to be the last time everyone would be able to spend time like this. Another wonderful night.

Arriving at the end. Graduation Day. Putting on our 'robes'. Gettng ready by the entrance. Finally we walked into the hall. One by one, all of us. Received our teacher's blessings. Our junior's blessings. Everything just seemed really sad. I also had a post up about Graduation so I'm not going to say much. I remember the first day of Orientation. How I thought I was going to regret everything. How Form 6 isn't going to benefit me in any way. I was SO SO SO SO wrong. I want to strangle my old self so much. All the ups and downs I went through. I was never alone. Everyone was with me. I made so many friends, someone who I can count on no matter what. I have people fighting with me, no matter how hard the situation, NO one gave in. NO one gave up. I am not going to say that it was easy because it wasn't. The amount of studying you need to do will drive you nuts. But don't forget the friends you made along the way, they became your strength, they became the reason you're holding on. (my this it sounding like some anime ending) I HAVE NO REGRETS. My Form Six Adventure was an epic one. The people I met are the epic ones too. That concludes everything I have to say to you.

Here's from me. Miss Audrey Elora C. 11.12.13

#rosesareblue

I know I shouldn't be doing any updates yet. Why? I still have papers to sit for that's why? However, I just feel like writing this down so I'll remember it forever. I don't even know why? I don't know if it's appropriate either. I'd like to write this to my hero. One can have many heroes but this man right here will forever be my number 1. Dearest Mr Hero, I know we aren't close like how we should be and I kind of understand that you are a man of not so many words either. You look fierce and seldom show any sign of tenderness but I know deep down inside, way deep down. I am your little girl. Well I'm not daddy's little girl though I kind of wish I was, you know being able to run to your daddy whenever things get rough. These 19 years pass by so quickly and I can now have a chance to reflect on the things I did, the things we used to do when I was younger. I know you're the 'you have to make it through alone' kind of guy and you kind of let me grew up in that kind of situation. I never really get to run to you when things get rough and I know you never really had a chance to do so with yours to because he died young but it's okay because you made me a stronger a person. A person that does not have to rely on people to get things done. Death. The most horrifying word. No, I'm not afraid of dying. I'm afraid of other people dying. I am afraid of being left behind. Be it an animal or a person, it breaks my heart to think that their families are being left behind. The worst feeling, the feeling of being left behind. Oh, no. You've never left me behind. You waited for me, waited for me to grow. Patiently, you watched me blossom. You always worked behind the scenes, you always want to seem strong. You always want to give people the feeling that you are reliable. Guess I got that from you. I know you're strong, on the outside, maybe on in the inside too. But I want to protect you, I want to take care of you too. It's going to be my turn and you're going to have to let me. I want to tell you things, I really do but I don't want to burden you with any more useless crap you have to deal with. I want to ask you stuff, I want to you to take care of yourself, I want you to just relax but I can't bring myself to say it. I'm sure no one should have this much trouble but I do and I feel guilty. I am afraid of awkwardness. I am afraid that I might seem different. I am afraid that you think I am deserting you. I am not. I will not. I will never. Don't be afraid to rely on me. You deserve to rely on me. Like I always have relied on you. Quietly. I love you.

#graduates

Like they say, nothing lasts forever. I graduated today together with all my precious friends. It feels like it's even closer to the final exams now. I'm scared. I really am. It's really frustrating to think that you might not be able to do well this time. I cannot lie but I do feel discourage because I feel like I've been slacking off a lot this semester. Well, blame yourself. I'll do this graduation post before I start being in berserk study mode. I highly doubt there will be anymore blogpost anytime soon.

I woke up really early today. I don't know if it was from all the excitement but I did. I got to school rather late though because I had breakfast with my mom. She insist I have breakfast before the Convo so I said yes. I got to school and everyone was busy doing their hair, playing cards, taking pictures, etc. I took Mr Goalkeeper's camera and took pictures of everyone who was in class at that time. It didn't take too long before all of us were to assemble in the hall. We settled down, stood in front of fans, made fun of our oversized jubah, took more pictures, etc. Mom went to my Convo again this year, it was all last minute because she told me she wasn't going to attend the other day. She came anyway and she doesn't know how much that meant to me, she got flowers and it was beautiful. Thank you mom. I heart you so much ;,) Haha she told me not to put any pictures of her on facebook. Well, too late mom.

We all lined up outside the hall waiting for the guests to arrive. It was a really long line. All 77 of us. A lot of chats were made, flash mob plans, height comparing and of course more jubah fun making. We waited for a bit and it was finally the time to enter the hall. The moment when I walked down that hall, I feel like everyone was looking at me and I want to look presentable. I feel presentable. I feel superior (maybe because I'm like older than most of the people in school) but seriously that feeling when we slowly paced to our seats, it was magical. We sat and listened to speeches where Mr Freedom and I would occasionally make fun of. It took a REALLY long time for all the speeches to end but I guess all of that was worth the wait. One by one, all of us went up there to receive that certificate. Mom came up with me, that made me happy too teehee. The whole thing was over rather quickly. It felt like time just sped up for no reason. We then went up to present the ukelele to Mr Bestah, I sure hope he likes the gift. I mean he looks like it :)

I should mention the gifts I got today. The flowers my mom got me aside. Mr Fencer and I decided to get each other felt Avengers 'flower' graduation thingy. We bought it the day before and were asked to decorate it at home to present to the other the second day. I decided to add his name and the date of our Convo to his 'graduation flower thingy' which made him really guilty coz he thought I was just joking about the decorating part. I didn't do it on purpose just to make him feel guilty. I just really wanted to do something for the guy :) He is my adorable little brother :)
                                 
                                     

The juniors got every senior a Rose too. It was really nice of them. However, I would like to mention two special juniors who gave me a card. The content was really sweet and it made me cry. I know I'm not suppose to cry over such things but it was just- right at that moment. I want to thank Mr Chew and Mr Chai who wrote such kind words. I will forever remember you guys for being so sweet on my Graduation. Not forgetting Miss Scorpio. I absolutely love the Origami flower you made me. Thank you so much. I don't know if you knew but I really like doing origami teehee.

Two hours passed by so quickly and it was finally time to go up that stage one last time to shake our lecturer's hands. I shook Mr Bestah's hand, really wanted to give him a hug. Too bad I don't have the courage to, I was afraid that if I did, it was going to make me cry.  I shook hand by hand thinking to myself how I am going to leave the school, leave my teachers, leave all of my wonderful friends. My kokoro was in pain. I continued anyways and I got to Madam Victoria. She pulled me into a hug and it made me teary. I got to Miss Sheily and she detected my tears and she urged me not to cry. Goodness that did not work. I could feel my tears on my cheek. Lastly I got to the last teacher, Madam Kong who radiates a very motherly presence to me. She shook my hand and she pulled me into a hug. That was the last straw, I could not contain it anymore. I just let it all out. I turned to leave and Madam Kong was still grabbing my hand so tightly. So tightly it made me want to cry even more. She let go eventually and I left only to find Miss Sexy Fifit and Miss Angel standing there waiting for me. Miss Angel looked at me and smiled, '我知道你一定会哭的' Goodness. That made me cry even harder. The three of us walked pass all the lower forms and they just stared at me crying. I walked pass the lower six and I saw Mr Chew staring at me lawl. Miss Sexy Fifit decided to get her camera out and made everyone take pictures with the crying me. The guys were certainly enjoying it. How could you Mr Chess!? Had GROUP photo (YES GROUP). I'll let the picture talk.

I'm pretty sure you all can guess what's up next. Yep. PHOTO FRENZY. I must thank everyone who came with a Polaroid / Camera. Took a lot of pictures (AS USUAL) I got a picture with Mr PA and Mr Chemistry and of course my favourite teacher Mr Bestah. I don't have a picture with Madam Kong :(

Everything was nice. I don't know if that's the right way to describe it but it really was heart warming :) I really hope that things don't end when Form 6 does. I want to still be able to hang with my buddies even after graduation. Things will be better. I know it will. Here's from me to you.

#bearcat

Okay. I have exactly 53 minutes to type this. I really hope I can get this out by midnight. Tomorrow (in 53 minutes) is my best friend's birthday. A beautiful person born into this beautiful world. I know you might find this cheesy but I guess that's how this post is going to be like. So If you're reading this before you give up your Mac to the school, do remember that this is the last thing you did with 'Aero'. I'm sure Aero will happy that Elliot decided to write a little something for his owner (soon to be ex) Okay sorry. No more teasing you about it.

If I were to write about all the memories we had AKA all the fights, osmosis, boob punch, tickling, kicking etc. I would be repeating everything I posted a few months ago. I know you get a lot of appreciation post and mine doesn't really stand out too much but I want you to know that every little thing I type her is coming from me. This soul right here that connects with yours. Don't ask me how or why? It just connects. I know you don't feel like listening to nostalgic stuff right now and I'm pretty sure everyone knows about the 'under-the-tree-incident' or 'MCD-foodfight-pantspulling-faceslapping' so I'll write about something different.

I don't know about you but I thought about how things will be now if you were still here. Well if you did, you might think that it would have been way better if you stayed. But if you ask me, I think it's nice this way too. Besides the distance and some alone time, I finally understand how it feels like to miss someone every single day. I finally know how it feels like to still feel so attached to someone even though they are far away. I finally got to use my skype( never used that shit ). If you were still here, I can get you to drive me around. We would have more Lucy Kitchen moments. We would have more fights. You would distract me a lot! You would sleep in class a lot. You would do a lot of powerpoints for the school. You would be freaking PRESIDENT of my library. ( a wonderful one of course) We would slack off a lot during maths. You would have more time to observe me while I do maths. I would be able to osmosis you any time I want and you can punch my boobs whenever you get the chance. (it hurt last time.)

But no. These things weren't meant to happen and of course there is a reason for all of that. Because you are far away, I feel the need to talk to you everyday. I know we're both busy with school and stuff but you never prioritize those over me. Thank you :) Because you live so far away, I appreciate you more because I feel like if I'm not careful enough, you're just going to slip away and leave. Because I don't really know what you're up to every single day (yes I'm no stalker like you), I want to listen to your stories, I want to relate and I want you to relate to mine. I know it's not easy but I want you to hear them and imagine them like you're there, I'm not asking for too much. Because we don't see each other everyday anymore, I am afraid. Afraid that you might turn into a stranger, someone that I used to know. 14 years more of friendship huh? If faith should step in and we do only have 14 more years of friendship, I sure can't interfere. I want to make those 14 years worth living, I want to spoon feed you again like you said I did, I want to sing songs to you, I want you to sing back too. I want to travel? Remember Japan? I want to drive you around at least LAWL. There's so many things we NEED to do.

Keep telling me all the things that happened on your side because I am going to keep telling you mine. Keep telling me how you think you're going to screw your grades up and then end up being the top of your class. Keep telling me how you wish you were back here because you miss the food. Keep telling me bad stuff about your friends because I kinda enjoy it too. Keep making comments about my Pusheen Cat Stickers on facebook because they are hillarious. Continue to send me selfies with your new phone (show off). Continue to give me random skype sessions that last longer than it should. Continue to always be by my side because I want to be by yours.

Rose are red, 

Violets are blue.

Don't eat bread,

Coz it'll kill you.

HAHA okay not true. But seriously, don't eat bread with a dry throat. This is going nowhere.
*clears throat* Proceed.

Here's to the weirdest, most sarcastic but most adorkable guy in the world,
Well, in my world, at least. I recall you mentioned how special I was last time. Well I'm here to tell you that you're the reason why I feel special. Hence that makes you even more special that the queen bee herself. You have to shake that poker face off some how, not to mention that same DOMO shirt you wear everytime you come back. I know how pessi you are about your life but keep climbing, no matter how tired or how itchy your body gets( you know from all the sweat ) , just push forward or upward ;) if you know what I mean. You'll make it and the best part is, I might be there to see you do it :) You're now a year older. AGAIN. Soon you'll be legal too. I hope you don't drink and turn into an asian party animal. I mean you might give people the impression that asians are rice eating alcohol loving geniuses. Even though I'm not there with you and we can't really celebrate 'celebrate' but know that I'm with you throughout the day, just like any other day. Try imaging me walking down the hall right to your locker, slapping you on the back saying 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY!' Believe me, It'll happen one day. One way or another. I'm gonna get you.

Awww HOW CUTE HAHA

Remember the arahan we made?

Yeah Yeah I know TOO much make up.

Must you kiss my phone?

THIS WAAAAAAAAAAY BACK

*drum rolls*

REVEALING SKYPE SESSIONS!

HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY!

'Will you take a moment, promise me this

That you'll stand by me forever

But if God forbid fate should step in

And force us into a goodbye

If you have children some day

When they point to the pictures

Please tell them my name'

:) and oh.

I had the time of my life. Fighting dragons with you <3

#LASTVEGAS

It finally came to an end. Having to look for a dress 2 months in advance. Googling for nice prom hairstyles. Trying to find a nice clutch and end up stealing your mom's. Being extremely excited for Prom. It came. It ended. Life goes on but memories will never fade. I still remember it like it was yesterday. Oh wait, it was just yesterday. Well, it sure felt like forever because it has got to be one of the best nights of my life. It was more than I what I expected. It really was beautiful. I want to tell every little thing that happened yesterday just so I can remember better the next time I try to reminisce. Okay so here goes.

Remember I said I forced sleep myself at 8PM the day before just because I wanted to avoid ugly eye bags? Well. BAD IDEA. I woke up at 11PM and couldn't sleep until it was 3AM. GREAT. I end up reading the old conversations I had with my best friend back then ( don't get me wrong. We ARE still best friends ) Miss Ulquiorra. We wrote RP conversations during class a lot last time. So many secrets, so many memories and they're all with me. Inside my messy room. You will never find it! Ha, just kidding, just check the drawers. I fell asleep somewhere near 2.48AM I think and I woke up at 6AM because my mom was getting ready for work and my brother had to go to school. My sister went to her friend's place and my dad left for work. Yeah, home alone. GREAT. It was kind of boring being all by myself at home. I hate being left alone. Luckily someone agreed to have a 10 minute skype session with me. It turned into a long one hour of password guessing and then it ended. The word end is really annoying. I was waiting for my brother to come home around noon and so he did. I cooked him lunch and went to take a nap. My mom came home an hour later and I was still sleeping on the sofa next to my brother. She woke me up and made me take a bath wtf so I did and mom drove me to the nearest saloon to do my hair. She paid for my hair. I got it for free :D The hairdresser was mom's friend so she took extra good care of me so she made my hair fabulous and I want to thank her for that! Miss Angel and I were texting each other and Miss Jay offered to come fetch me from home, which was a little shocking for me because people are usually reluctant to drive to my area because it's complicated and it's scary at night. They arrived and my mom send out, she gave me some motherly advice right before I stepped out of the gate, she was being all 'mom' because I guess, she knows. How important prom night was for me. Thank you mom :)

We all gathered at Miss Angel's place and we did our nails well except for Miss Jay, she went home to do stuff ;) had some girl fun and I decided to finally put on my dress. Well not that I haven't tried it on before. youhavenoideahowmanytimesiputthatdressonjusttomakesureidontlooktoobadinit. It didn't take much effort to put it on because I had lots of practice already. I got in my dress and Miss Angel was standing right in front of the door when I walked out. I don't remember the exact words she said but she sure mentioned something like '要掉出来了' Miss Angel pervert :P I was in Miss Moon's room when a car came and parked right in front of the house. I was trying to make out the mysterious person and then suddenly a handsome Mr Freedom hopped out of the car and stood there in front of the gate. You got me there Mister. Miss Jay came shortly and she did my make up. Making me even more fabulous ;) We all left in a rush because we thought we were going to be late. On the way to Horizon, we talked about how we are going to take lots of pictures and how Mr Freedom was stressing that Miss Moon has a pretty dress and how Miss Jay and I sang to wrecking ball like crazy. It didn't take too long to get to Horizon but it was really fun being in the car with them. Mr Freedom parked his car and got his cute little bow tie on and we were ready to roll! We bumped into some lower six and so we decided to share the elevator. Guess who guess who? :P Mr KF it is! Walked in together with the girls feeling fabulous. the juniors greeted us at the door and - gosh things were so beautiful. Walked over to the guys and the girls. Compliments were exchanged. Hugs were offered. Boobs were smashed by mine. Then it was time to sit down. I sat in between Miss Angel and Mr Freedom. They took real good care of me. Constantly filling my plate with food.

The juniors did a lot of singing this year, it was great. I like singing along trying to sound louder than everyone else HAHAHA no seriously. they did really well. Especially Mr Playful. I was impressed. Did I mention that Mr Fencer, Mr Cuddly and Mr Chess were to perform? Well if I didn't then there, I said it. It's alright to be nervous. I'm nervous all the time. Mr Fencer got nervous during his performance but then Mr Bestah went up stage and played the drum with him. Omgosh you have no idea how handsome he looked when he jumped up the stage to help his student. Glorious. Then the real deal happened. Three guys from my class performing in front of the whole crowd. I feel like a proud mom HAHA.

We must not forget to mention the Coke Challenge. Having Miss Jay, Mr Goalkeeper, Mr Freedom, Mr Fencer and I represented our table and got us second place wooohoo! 25 tokens bebeh! The 25 tokens of course was in exchange for something else :)

The whole thing ended really soon with Miss CC touching speech. It really almost made me cry but then I thought about the cam whoring session that was waiting for me. I stopped. We took crazy pictures. Really Crazy. Thanks Brian. There are not many guys out there whom I can be as crazy and open as I was with you. So moar pictures then?

                                         Oops careful don't drop Mr Bestah now.

ZE gang

boobies XD

The Friday Librarian Gang

The sexy guys from my class ;)

I just feel like including my best friend in this post. thank you for being happy for me. The whole thing was wonderful and I couldn't ask for me but if you ask me what could have made things better. It has got to be you :) You never slipped my mind for a second that wonderful night. 

*drumrolls*

6AS 2013!

Magical.

#makeyoufeelmylove

okay so my best friend is being whiny about how I never update my blog anymore. HELLO I do okay? It's just that you're too busy to see them now. It's not healthy for a teenager to stay in the library for more than 8 hours especially when you have a comfy home where you can actually study. Yes. Audrey likes to study at home. It helps. OMG i can't believe I just mentioned studying. I skipped tuition last night. NO, not because I wanted to study at home. I was just freaking lazy. I mean I'm not lazy, it's more of an excited feeling. I can't do anything else until the even I have been waiting for actually happens. Guess what? It's happening. Tonight. In less than 7 hours. I am excited. Exactly why I slept EARLY last night. I practically forced sleep myself at 8PM and end up waking up at 11PM WTF and then I couldn't sleep. I was too excited, YES THAT is how EXCITED I am. I'm not going to deny that I am also a little sad. We all know that when PROM ends, exams are coming, graduation is like only less than 20 days away. Maan I love my class. I didn't get much sleep after all last night so I end up with eye bags right now and things just had to get worst. What kind of best friend shows you REALLY sad videos on YOUTUBE on the day you want to look most beautiful. Yes, you made me cry. Good thing I didn't have any make up on. It's almost noon now. I'm going to pack right after I finish typing this. Going to do my hair. Put some make up on. Don't forget the necklace I got from my driving tutor's new store in City Mall ;) Oh and my sexy heels. Too bad they won't look very sexy on me. Whoopsie. I hope tonight would be wonderful. Magical. A night to remember.

'I could make you happy, make your dreams come true.

Nothing that I wouldn't do.

Go to the ends of the Earth for you,

To make you feel my love'

#gammarays

things are changing. not sure if it's for the better but it is definitely changing. that's the funny thing about life. you don't know what holds in the future and you can't turn back time to make things right. You only get one chance at EVERYTHING. you win some and you lose some. I think I won some big stuff in life so far but I can't say that I've lost not as much. I'm only a quarter through my life according to Mr Bear Cat. I'm pretty sure there's going to be a whole lot of shit I have to go through. No matter. I know that no matter where I go, what I do, I have my people and that matters. So much more than I thought it would. This change that I mentioned earlier. It's not anything big but it's definitely going take some getting used to. Knowing me, I'd probably blend very quickly. I don't like change but for the better, I'm willing to sacrifice. Sacrifice is good. You get something in return. Right? NO. you don't and it's not nice to expect things in return. If you want to do something, do it because you want to, not because you want something in return. One thing mom and dad taught me.

'We don't have to hurry

You can take as long as you want

I'm holdin' steady

And my heart's at home

With my hand behind you

I will catch you if you fall'

#boo-hoo

it wasn't a bad day. it wasn't about boys. it wasn't about school. it wasn't about grades. no it's not because someone 'bojio' me again. it wasn't about anything i had to worry about a while back. things are just not going the way they should for me right now, whenever i try to fix things. They either don't work out or they just turn out worst. I know I'm not suppose to be all down just because it doesn't work out but the worst part about everything is... I feel alone. I feel like I'm the only who cares, who freaking gives a damn. I feel like they are not even making an effort to make things better for themselves. I feel like I am the only one trying. I envy people who can just let it be and move on. I just can't. It's not that I don't want to but it will only come back and haunt me. Haunt me how? You know, all the what ifs? What if you tried to save it? What if you tried to help? What if it turned out better? I feel like I should just try but apparently my type of trying is not working at all. I want to take it further but I am just a freaking coward who is afraid of facing things. Afraid of making things worst. Afraid that things might turn out horrible because of me. Me alone. I know I'm not suppose to blame myself for what happened to them? But I do. Even if it's just a bit. That's slightest guilt. It stay here carved deep inside my heart. Things get better. Do they now? How long will it take? Years? If that's the case then how many more years should I wait. I'm probably not in the best position to assume things like this, saying that they are not trying to make things better. Maybe they are, but in their own ways. Ways that are kind of selfish. If you ask me.

in the middle of my boo-hoo-ing today, i just couldn't stop. i did try but the H20, they were screaming 'YOLO' I tried to calm down and I did. Several times. I cannot count how many times I bawled in that 2 period time. I'm sorry if I made the floor wet, or if i made the classroom awkward. I'm sorry that Miss Scorpio couldn't study because of me. I mean she's sick but she has to take care of my shit for me too. That made me a little guilty. I know how hard Biology is. As I was saying, in the middle of my water works, I could have sworn I saw Mr Goh staring straight at me. (yeah that's what you get for sitting next to the freaking window) I don't know. I think I saw this concern look in his eyes. I mean my eyes were covered in tears so I couldn't really tell. I'd like to think of it that way. I'd like to think that he was concern about me because he was very fatherly. Did I ever mention that Mr Goh feels like my dad? I mean the aura. It's so oto-san to me. I wonder what my dad would do if he saw me like that. He probably never seen me like that before but I'm pretty sure he's just going to come up to me and give me a good scolding asking me not to cry. I don't cry in front of my parents much. It feels vulnerable even though they are the people who you can be most vulnerable with. Mr Goh was distributing the papers during Physics test today, he gave me my paper gently? Is that how I should put it? Gently? I guess that's a normal way of putting it right? Thanks Mr Goh. 

I hope I scared no one today. I mean I did burst into a mewl so very suddenly. 

Miss Scorpio, thank you so much. 

Mr Freedom , I needed the tissue.

Miss Enlighten, I'll buy you new royal tissue! 

Mr Fencer, thanks for the pat. 

Everyone else, sorry.  

I'm fine so don't worry. I'm the kind of person who gets up and on after a cry. I can't try to convince you so you're just going to have to trust me. 

#busty

Okay this is basically me today. I was going to write a post about this a long long time ago but I never realy got the chance to so since I'm tired of doing my Physics experiments I thought I'd do a little update about yeah, boobs. See how happy that girl looked when she found other busty girls? Well, I'm not like that. I actually get kind of scared when I see people with bigger boobs then mine. Reasons you say? well...
1. I think I have huge boobs so when I see bigger ones, I just. I can't imagine how they carry those around and how they deal with them wtf. I have problems with mine so I'm sure they are going to have problems with theirs too.

Now I will show you some busty girl problems//perks by rampaige and tell you how I relate.

This is me. Most of the time. It's really hard to find the perfect clothing. Well not that one actually exist but it's really hard to look good in oversized clothing. I'm not the thinnest person out there and huge boobs, they make you look even fatter. I mean like seriously. I'd like to avoid huge clothing but I love wearing them, it is so comfortable but at the same time i want to look nice. I'd have problem picking an outfit every single time. maybe this is just me, I mean I'm picky by nature. I usually go for the oversize clothing though coz I just can't concentrate on anything else if I'm too self conscious about how I look.


Evil boobs. This is what happens when you have heavy stuff sticking out of your chest. It's not easy carrying them around. Not easy playing basketball with these. This is why I don't usually run. I just wait under the net. Ahh bra marks. Would you have believed me if I told you I don't have those? Well ding dong I do but they go away overnight so I guess it's not such a big problem.

 
ME. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I mean why can't they just provide a bigger size? WHY WHY WHY? I can't count how many bras I've seen and want but can't because they just don't have my size. People get to choose the style while I have to choose by size. NOT FAIR. The smaller bras are always much prettier. The big ones are usually really expensive too. I wonder how much money my parents spent on my bras. Just my bras for these past few years.


Weehee finally one good thing about these things. I mean everytime I'm in the library and I'm cold. I secrectly do this. No one will ever know muahahaha. Well unless my readers don't spread then I guess - wait wtf. What am I saying?


So yeah. Anyone. Any gender? If you ever need a shoulder to cry on. I'm right here. Just ask and I'll lend you a boob or two to cry on. Of course you're going to have to give me something to dry myself with after. Miss Speaker must really feel this way. I get random hugs from her all the time. Can't say I hate it but can't say I love it too. However, it is still very pleasant to be cuddled :)


This. I don't know. I feel unsafe. I feel like I'm going to die early because of them. I mean I know if I take precautions and go for check ups, I won't die but there's still that paranoid feeling I have. I mean I guess it's kind of a good thing that it increases my awareness, it means I'm going to take extra care of them. But seriously? Don't busty girls have a higher risk of getting breast cancer?


aaaaawwwww. Miss Scorpio. Mr Bear Cat. This is for you. Well maybe a little to Miss Angel and also Mr Freedom. We do have boob talk sometimes don't we? Especially you. Yes. YOU.

 
Yeah. you have no idea how hard it is to look for a dress that is PERF. If the dress doesn't go through my boobs. It does not go through anything. I can try on 30++ of dresses in a day and I can safely say that I might only fit 5 of them and I might not even like them but I can only choose from the five of them so I am very frustrated about my prom dress. I don't even know what to wear I- just. I know I have a huge frame and I was made fun of a lot when I was younger. I tried. My frame is just big. I can't do anything about my bone structures. They just won't shrink. I mean I know people are just joking when they say I'm big or stuff and I know I should just dismiss it but a part of me just can't help but feel offended. I'm sorry.


Miss Jay. If you see this. Happy times during basketball and netball practice.


Yeah. This must happen a lot huh? I wouldn't possibly know. I mean there are the ups and downs. I mean just be yourself. Your boobs don't define you. However, I define boobs.


I guess. I do love my boobs :)